Success!

The semester is winding down, I have two more days of classes then finals next week, and I'm only now realizing how well I've done this semester.

1) I've gone to all my classes, reasonably on-time, every day (except once because I was very sick).
2) I should be getting As or Bs in three of my classes, possibly all four (I have no idea how I did in my study class, so ... *shrugs*)
3) I'm finally (albeit lately) figuring out what I want to do through my college experience, and where I'm going to take my degrees and such

All in all, I'm feeling great. :) I wish I could always feel like this ...

Update - Tumor, New Ratties, and Some Info

I apologize for my silence lately. I do have some sad news to share.

A few months ago I found a bump on Avi. It's near her back leg, and is in the right place for a mammary tumor. It was pretty small then and I only noticed it by accident. Fast forward to now - the tumor is still small, but is growing. It is a mammary tumor (has exactly the same tributes as the tumor Min had), which means that it is likely benign, Avi is in no pain, and it will continue to grow. It appears larger when she is moving around her cage, and seems smaller when she's reaching up against the bars, or when I pick her up to feel it (I do this about once a week to track growth). I don't believe it is getting in her way, but I'm not sure how long that will be the case.

I suspect her to be around until Christmas at least, but I could be very off in this estimation. Like Min, I'm going to wait until it gets to be an inconvenience for her, then put her down. In the mean time, I'm trying to do my best to keep her as happy and as comfortable as possible.

No new ratties, by the way. I'm waiting until January to start my search again. I'll be getting 3 of them, all female, and I'll be getting them spayed. Apparently, spaying is a very good preventative measure against these mammary tumors, and - if done by a vet who understands the smaller critters (an exotics vet, in this case) - is relatively safe. This is one reason why I want rats from a local breeder. I will know the exact birthdate of the rats, and so can get them spayed during the amount of time that spaying-as-prevention turns out the most successful (which I believe is somewhere in the 3-4 month area). My only problem is that spaying is a major operation (the tumor removal surgery is a minor operation, but costs 4 times as much), and I run the risk of losing one, two, or all three of my girls! I'm going to do some research into the current vet I use, but I'm pretty certain that he has experience in this area.

Gearing Up for NaNoWriMo and Other Stuff

That's right. Next month is National Novel Writing Month and once again I am a participant. I'm nervous (obviously), definitely hoping last year's crash and burn doesn't happen again, and also very excited. I'm working on accumulating the things I need for my story, but I have an idea (that came to me during a nap the other day ... ) for at least the start of the story and 3 characters. We'll see where it goes from there.

There are a few things that worry me about NaNo this year.

• I haven't had creative juices flowing freely in months. Even going off of my meds hasn't helped much.
• I still haven't figured out the "balance school, work, and homework" thing yet, much to my chagrin.
• I has no laptop. Which, truth be told, isn't that bad of a situation. Just means it'll be harder for me to work when I'm at Tene's.

So, I do perceive issues. There is also that I'll be worrying about Avi, who has developed a steadily-growing tumor, and other things going on in my life right now. But, I'm going to attempt NaNoWriMo, and win or lose, I'm going to do my best.

Sigur Ros - Glosoli

This is my current favorite song and music video. Thought I'd share :)

Some Changes

So, I'm going to be making some changes to RiP soon. One problem I'm having with this blog is that it doesn't really have a dedicated purpose. I thought I had a purpose for it, but I don't like the idea of using Rats in Pants for rants and such. Unfortunately, the name "Rants in Pants" (and the url rantypants) was taken, so I'm going to be trying to think of a new name for my ranty blog.

What Rats in Pants is going to be for is documenting my life - specifically my life involving my rats (although I will mention other things, like school, meds, and the like). I know that's what I use it for now - so there won't be any changes as far as the rest of you are concerned.

A content change that I am going to include is information on rats in general - health care and the like - as I learn it and incorporate it. I may also add some information on other small pets, but don't bet on it.

Some of the other changes I'm going to be doing is changing the color scheme and such, as well as the image at the top of the page (hopefully to a photo of my new girls once I get them :) ). I'll be removing the BlogLog, but will be keeping the friends and family blogs, as well as the sister sites (my new blog will probably not be listed in the sister sites section).

In other news, the new cage is almost complete! For those who don't know, a few weeks ago I bought a cage from Martin's Cages. The cage is HUGE! :) It's 30"x18"x36", and has a decent drop pan (3" high sides - which means my floor will stay clean :) ), a full middle section, and two balconies, with ramps attaching all of them. I had a cage of almost this size (24"x14"x26") before, also from Martin's, but learned the hard way that plain Galvanized steel is very very bad for leveled cages. That cage rusted within a few months. As a result, I spent a few extra dollars to get this cage powder coated, which is supposed to completely eliminate the smell problem.

The cage comes separated, which I don't mind. Less shipping costs for me, and the cage is pretty easy to assemble - especially since Martin's sends you everything you could ever need to put it together. Like, four times over. Now, there was just one thing I wanted to do that I had not done on the original cage.

The flooring of the cage is wire, which is okay, but could be potentially dangerous to the rats small, fragile feet. There are plenty stories online of ratty feet getting trapped in the wire - and of sprained and broken bones. This is especially dangerous for smaller, younger rats (like what I'm getting ... ).

So, I decided, in my infinite wisdom, that I should make a tray for the full middle level. First, to give my rats something to rest on without having to go all the way down to the floor level. Second, to make the cage safer for the rats. And third - to make it less messy. Well, the tray is being made out of plexiglass and solvent glue. I was planning on having a full bottom layer, and four sides. This ended up not working. So, what I have now, in pieces, are 3 pieces that make up the bottom of the tray, and the 4 sides. It isn't pretty, but it will do what it's supposed to.

In the course of this project I did learn a few things.
- You can buy large sheets of plexiglass from Lowes. They will not custom cut things for you, however.
- Solvent glue is easy to find ... the hard part is finding a local seller, and then finding their building (I was lost for half an hour trying to locate the dang place)
- You cannot cut smaller squares out of plexiglass. There is no way to make a cut that only goes 5" in, and have it not break the entire piece of material.
- "Scoring" means using a knife to cut the plexiglass, not two or three times, or even four or five, but, like, ten. Anything less and it doesn't snap. Also, they need to be on both sides of the plexiglass. It helps it break straighter.
- Don't expect a straight edge. (I can only hope I can fix the problem this caused)

I hope to finish the cage by this weekend, and have contacted "Skye" (a local rat breeder).

Medicine Changes, and So Do I

It's been a week since I went off of my crazy meds completely, and I've noticed a few changes, bad and good.

Bad or lingering effects
- Disinterest in everything
- Anxiety attacks
- Insomnia and trouble waking
- Apathy
- Temporary numbness in fingers and hands

Good effects
+ I am coherent
+ I actually remember and recall things
+ I have written more, although none of it has been very useful or interesting
+ I want to want to do things things (drawing, writing, etc), although I'm apathetic when it actually comes to doing them.
+ I feel ... normal. Mostly.

In all, I am feeling better, but I am still having problems adjusting. I'm suspecting that I'll get better soon, but will take some time.

Nothing Creative Comes to Mind

Good Happenings
- I am enjoying my job
- I am lowering my Lamictal, and should be completely off of it within a month - which means I'll be completely CRAZY MED FREEEE!
((HAPPY DANCE!!!))
- My new Nalgene water bottle is BPA free, which I didn't know until 2 seconds ago :D (But have been worried about all day ... )
- I'm starting to get to a place where I can do the things I want to with my life
- The new cage is almost complete, and I should have 3 new girls in the next week or so

Not-So-Good Happenings
- I am nervous about school starting in a month
- My anxiety attacks haven't gone away yet :|
- I may need to get a second job, but really don't want to
((the raise I was expecting to have a few months ago [after I was done "training"] still hasn't come my way ... ))
- Gas prices suck
- Still can't draw or write decently at all
- I broke my laptop

All in all, I'm doing good - I can't really complain much. Most of my problems are manageable, or will go away with time :) Which I'm grateful for.

Things I Learned: How We Learned to Love Distopia

So, I finally get around to telling all about my adventures at Penguicon. I'll be posting one of these a day, on weekdays, until I'm done. So, enjoy! :)

Also, I apologize, but this first one is going to be choppy, I'll try to edit it in the future.

Title: How We Learned to Love Dystopia
Presenters: Sarah Monette, William Jones, Daniel J. Hogan, and Elizabeth Bear
Date and Time: Friday, April 18 at 8:00pm

Utopia has no plot. It cannot have plot. Plot come from two sides of a conflict fighting with one another. There are few Utopian stories, because there is nothing really to tell. The happily ever after ending is not pleasing. It doesn't feel true to us as humans, because life is full of strife and hardship, but in a Utopia everything is perfect. There is no hardship to be suffered.

Dystopia, on the other hand, is full of stories. The stories of where the dystopia began, how it grew and took hold. The accounts of those oppressed in the society - the freedom fighters and those they fight for. The tales of how the Dystopia ends.

Dystopia stories often incorporate the Utopia as well - the place where everyone is happy and content, where there is no suffering or sadness. In the end, however, all of these stories are revealed to be about a Dystopia disguised as Utopia. The people are oppressed, but do not realize it (The Matrix, Brave New World). They are controlled by forces outside of their control, and they don't try to stop it. They are happy, but not truly. A happiness caused by lies and drugs.

A true Utopia - one where there is no pain, no suffering, everyone is happy with their lives and themselves - is no more possible to our minds than Santa Clause or the Tooth Fairy. The belief and faith needed for a Utopia to be believable does not exist any longer. Not with all the pain and suffering we witness in the world around us.

For each story that dystopia gives rise to, there are different takes that they can be portrayed through as well - The people who become legends because they get out. The cautionary tales and the fairy stories. The metaphors, written 15 years in the future - about the world here and now, that we live in. The stories that are epiphanies. Where the character and/or the reader come to an "aha" moment by the end.

Rest in Peace, Little One

Just a general update for everyone.

Around 4:30pm today, I put Min to sleep. Her tumor was large enough that it was beginning to bother her, and she had bit at it last night - essentially attempting to bite it off. I woke up to a cage full of blood. What resulted was me taking her in to the vet later in the day (around 3:00, the earliest they could see her). My options were clear - I could get her the surgery to remove the tumor in the next few days (a 400$ procedure), or I could put her to sleep.

After an agonizing hour, I finally came to my decision.

She's buried in my mother's backyard - under the cherry tree. I thought that would be nicer than leaving her to the vet to take care of.

Sorta here

Hello all! Sorry I haven't posted anything in a while.

So ... my life ...

((Also, yes this is almost a perfect copy-paste from devArt))

Work
At the moment I'm very much enjoying my job. My coworkers are awesome, my "boss" is one of us, and in all I feel welcome there. They're even accepting to the fact that I have issues at times :D That's really cool to me.

School
Well, you all know I dropped out of SUU spring semester. Since then I've applied to go to SLCC (my GPA was/is too low for the U of U), and have registered for classes this fall. I'm a little worried that I won't do any better here than I did in Cedar. :|

I'm also severely missing Cedar City - or more accurately, SUU. I've had a couple of episodes of randomly crying because I want to be at SUU, but I realize that it isn't ... healthy for me to be there. I'm too far away from my doctors and from Tene, and I just seem to get sick in Cedar :(

My hope is that I'll do well at SLCC this semester, and probably next spring, and then I can transfer to the U of U.

Home Life
Can I just say that I don't like living in this house? That's all I really need to say, right?

Rats
Min and Avi are both doing great. Min's tumor is getting quite large, but so far it isn't inhibiting her ability to get around. Until it does, I'm going to be keeping her around :)

Other
I've been trying to be more social lately, but I think I've been failing horribly. I sorta feel like I've been failing horribly at just about everything lately. It sucks :( I'm trying to improve myself, but I feel like I'm stuck somehow. I can't improve ... but I'm also not getting worse :| Confusing

I'm writing a bit more than I used to, but not very much. I'm also working on my second unseen Kyoot! comic, and have ideas for lots more. Those will probably start getting completed soon.

And, I can't think of anything else to say.

--Michelle "Washi" Maxfield

PS: It is too bloody hot right now. I HATE SUMMER D:

Bugs

My first convention and I catch it.

Con Crud.


I feel like crap :( But I guess I shouldn't be surprised with my immune system being what it is. Time to go take some Vitamin C and sleep for the rest of the day.

Penguicon Day 1

WARNING LONG POST IS LONG!

Well, here I am, comfy in bed at the Troy Hilton in Michigan. I've been to one day of Penguicon, and I'm mostly enjoying myself. Yesterday was an adventure, though ...

So, Tene and I left for the airport around 10, our flight was scheduled to leave at around 12:30am. It left on time and all was well.

Ended up falling asleep on the flight. It was uncomfortable but - hey - whatcha gonna do?

Problem #1: My glasses broke in-flight. I'm not entirely certain as to how. I put them in the pocket of the seat in front of me before I fell asleep. But ... When I woke up they were gone. I eventually found them by my seat - apparently run over by one of the stewardess carts. Nothing fell off, but the left side was bent out of shape - the metal hinge twisted, and the plastic cracking. I put them in Tene's glasses' case and didn't worry about them again.

The plane took us to Atlanta, and we had a short layover before finally getting into a smaller plane to get to Detroit. Aside from me having issues with turbulence and general fears of flying, everything went well. I slept better on this flight.

We landed in Detroit at 9am local time. Didn't have to wait for luggage (yay carry on!), found an over-priced cab, and went to our hotel.

I slept in the cab, which hurt my neck.

Finally we got to the hotel. This is where I learned that Tene had not pre-registered for the con, and as a result we couldn't get registered for a while. While this was mostly okay, after some other adventures we could no longer get into the Consuite.

At the hotel I decided to replenish my energy, and had a long nap. I was wakened by Tene, who then asked if I wanted to go pick up one of the panelists from the airport. This panelist was Eliezer Yudkowsky who posts regularly to Overcoming Bias. So, we borrowed one of the Conhosts cars and went to the airport to pick up Eliezer. Everything was fine, I was just there to keep Tene comfy. I fell asleep in this car too.

At the airport I waited with the car while Tene went to go find Eliezer. Unfortunately, I was left in the "No parking, no standing" zone - where there was supposed to be "active loading and unloading, only." After being yelled at by a policeman on a motorcycle, I decided to move out of the way.

I ended up getting lost, and couldn't find my way back to the terminal until I'd gone around the airport 5+ times. I was not happy.

Once my anxiety attack was over, I found myself back at the hotel! Still unregistered, we couldn't find Matt (who owned the car we borrowed). Tene called him, and got permission to borrow the car again.

We went to the mall nearby, and found a Lenscrafters. They failed at an attempt to fix my glasses, but put them back together enough that I could wear them. Now they work okay, the lenses were in good shape, but the side post falls off sometimes

Well, we finally got back to the hotel, registered, and then went off to see the panels. I went to the three literature ones, which were very interesting, and I got to meet Tamora Pierce. That was cool.

I'll go into the panels later, for now, my adventures are hopefully over.

Script Frenzy 2008

Since I'm sure few (if any) of you read Truth in Lies, I decided to also mention it here.

I'm participating in Script Frenzy 2008! Hooray for me! I probably won't do well, and if you want to know more I'll be talking about it at TiL.

Update on Min

This is an update on Min and what the vet told me yesterday.

The tumors are, in fact, tumors and they are most likely benign. I could have an "easy surgery" to have them removed, but the surgery, boarding, feeding, medicine, etc will cost 350$; 275$ more than I expected to be paying (I was unaware that I would be paying for boarding/a hospital stay).

The tumors are painless and won't actually harm Min - except for making it difficult for her to move around (because of their position, this could become a problem very quickly). They'll continue to grow unless removed, eventually leading to Min being unable to move around without difficulty - which would then lead to euthanasia.

I did some more research (I'm getting good at this!) and apparently rats rarely live passed 3 years - and that's if they're actually bred well. Since Min came from PetSmart, I highly doubt that she'd live very long even with surgery anyway.

This is a hard decision, and I'm going to be figuring things out over the next week. Cost-benefit analysis doesn't work so well when it's your pet's life on the line, though :/

Script Frenzy 2008

So, I decided - probably against my better judgment - to join in the fight for Script Frenzy this year. Now, I tried NaNoWriMo last year, and I failed horribly. I'm going to try again this year - but I make absolutely no promises.

Script Frenzy is new - it just started up last year - and it focuses on script writing, rather than a novel. But it has a similar premise as NaNoWriMo, as it was set up by the same people. The goal is 100 pages of a script within the 30 days of April.

A daunting task, to be sure. The thing is - and what makes me absolutely insane for trying this - I've never written a script. Or, correction, I haven't written a script since I was 12, and those scripts were never very good.

They were fanfiction, for one thing.

Bad fanfiction.

Based on a computer game.

An educational computer game.

Ever heard of the Logical Journey of the Zoombinis? That was what that script was based on.

I think I still have it somewhere.

Anyway, I haven't written a script since I was 12, never saw a need to. I'm much better at fiction writing, and I was never great at the dialog-action thing that goes along with scripting. I'd rather have it all blended together smoothly.

And I have no ideas for plots.

Anyway, regardless, and against my better judgment, I'm trying this crazy thing out. If you want to watch my progress, my Script Frenzy profile is here.

Oh no ....

I found a bump on Min tonight when I was playing with her. I'm fairly certain it's a tumor. I'm going to try to take her to the vet this weekend, but I'm unsure if I can actually do anything for her ... aside from euthanasia. I knew I'd be losing my girl sometime in the next year or so ... I just didn't think it would be so soon.

I did some quick searches. There are two possibilities for what this could be. It is either a mammary fibroadenoma, which is a benign tumor (which I'm hoping for), or mammary adenocarcinomas - which is the type that is malignant and would mean that I would probably need to put Min down.

I'm not ready for this ...

I don't have the money for a vet visit, let alone surgery, but I think Tene would help out with this. He helps me out so much, I feel so guilty. I was so surprised and shocked when I felt the bump, I've been crying since. I'm worried about Min, but I can't do anything tonight. Or tomorrow ... I'll need to wait until Tene is home from Houston to take Min to the vet ... and he'll be gone next week as well. Maybe I can get him to transfer some money to me .... hmmmm.

Well, I do need sleep, scary rat problems or no.

Just so worried :/

Jobs, Birthdays, and Crazy Meds

Hello again, at last! I post after nearly a month of silence! I promise to be better about blogging in the future :D

So, good news in my life: I've got a job! I work at a company called APS as a receptionist and data-entry clerk. I'm still training, but I really like the people I work with, as well as the general atmosphere. I don't have many hours, but the hours I do have are great for when I start school this summer (or fall, depending on some other stuff).

Also, I am now 21! I am completely and utterly legal! Which doesn't change much except allowing me to purchase alcohol. Which I don't drink. Or gamble, but I don't have money ... hmmm ...

My girls are both doing well, yay for rattiness! They're so cute, although they're back into their small cage. First paycheck is going to go toward buying a new, larger cage. Joy.

Bad news? I'm getting off of my crazy meds (Lamictal and Zoloft), which is taking a while. My doctor finally said it was okay to lower my Zoloft and then go off, and we'd look at Lamictal later.

The good part about this is I'm feeling alive, my creativeness is coming back in force, and I feel more energetic and - in general - happy. I can't say for certain, but I think I've started laughing more, which is good.

The bad part is that I'm finally off of my Zoloft, and I've been having the worst withdrawal symptoms. Headache (constant, piercing, and it seems immune to painkiller), dizziness, tingling in my hands and feet ... I've had horrible nightmares, night sweats, and general problems sleeping. I'm tired all the time (which could be from mono ... ), and it 's hard for me to concentrate. I hate it. The headache is the worst part. That and the tingling.

Well, that's all for now,
Fare thee well!

Everyone Else is Doing It ....

You are The Star

Hope, expectation, Bright promises.

The Star is one of the great cards of faith, dreams realised

The Star is a card that looks to the future. It does not predict any immediate or powerful change, but it does predict hope and healing. This card suggests clarity of vision, spiritual insight. And, most importantly, that unexpected help will be coming, with water to quench your thirst, with a guiding light to the future. They might say you're a dreamer, but you're not the only one.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

Home Again, Home Again ...

Well, here I am, back at my mother's home. Got back from Cedar City Friday morning. Since then I've met my new therapist (a very nice lady, although she does the stereotypical "Hmm, okay, hmmm!" thing and then asks me "So how did that make you feel?") and spent decent time with Tene (Friday night, and all of Saturday).

I saw Ashley! Ashley was my best friend all throughout high school, but afterwards our relationship sorta died. She drifted away from my circle of friends and I didn't know how to go about fixing our broken relationship. But, as luck would have it, she recently got in touch with Tene again, and Saturday night we went out to dinner and watched a movie!

Dinner was so good. We went to David's Kitchen - one of those little hole in the wall restaurants - and had some tasty Chinese food. David's Kitchen has awesome food, I must admit. It was one of the first Chinese restaurants I went to and enjoyed!

After, we all went back to Tene's apartment to watch Transformers (they're robots in disguise!). First time I'd seen it, and I enjoyed it thoroughly. Bumblebee was so cute! I love how the ending was left open, as well.

In other news, because I haven't mentioned it elsewhere, I had to go into the ER Tuesday night. I got sudden pain in my upper abdomen, and when it didn't go away after half an hour I became concerned and ran off to the hospital. I was discharged at 7am (I'd gone in at 2am), and told that it is either an ulcer or something is happening with my gallbladder. I need to have an ultrasound of my gallbladder, and we'll see how it goes from there. I'm guessing ulcer - because the pain has mellowed down a lot (I haven't had another night of the pain like that) and has even completely stopped.

Had some adventures at the ER though. I'm not afraid of needles, but I definitely do not like them. I was okay with getting stuck once (for the IV), but the nurse mentioned that she might have to stick me twice. Already in an emotional state, I panicked. Ended up that all the on-duty nurses decided to come "help" after she asked another nurse (who was really hot ... I wish I could remember his name) to give me the IV.

Well, not much else is going on in my life. Just trying to survive.

MySpace, Facebook, Gaia, and other forms of addiction

It probably isn't a good think that I have as addictive a personality as I do, but I guess that's just life.

I've been on MySpace more in the last three days than I have in as many years! I see how people can be so addicted to it. I'm still mostly using it as a way to keep in touch with people - especially now that I'm moving away from Cedar City to live in Salt Lake again. Facebook is the same, I've been adding so many friends lately. I didn't know I knew that many people!

GaiaOnline receives a visit from me every day, which is pretty typical by now. I've been spending more time on it than I'd like, and I'm trying to "cut down." I wonder if they make a GO patch ...

I visit deviantArt at least twice a day, usually more - I keep checking for comments on my journal there.

There's also LiveJournal and, of course, Blogger, which I've been paying more attention to the last few days than I had in years.

Outside of intarweb realms, I've been addicted to playing on my new DS. Specifically I've been playing Final Fantasy III like a madwoman. I'm lost, though. No clue where to go exactly.

All of these things would be fine, if I did anything else as well. I'm sad and upset, and I'm using all these things as an escape. I realize this is a bad thing to do, but I don't know how to change my behavior. Hopefully living in my mother's house will help me figure that out. I'm sick of how I'm living my life, but I don't know how to change. It sucks.

Header!

I did something creative! First time I've had the ambition to do anything in a decent while. It's a header for this blog, and I'm going to make one for Rats in Pants as well! I couldn't decide whether to put the pen on top or under the words, but I think it looks better above them, and it doesn't obscure them too much. I'm quite proud of how it turned out.

Well, I don't really have much else to say. The image is in .png format, so it probably doesn't show up properly in Internet Explorer, just as information.

No pen nib would be that clean after using it, but I couldn't get it to look right when I was trying to color it.

Idea!

Today I thought of an idea for this blog! The title "Truth in Lies" evokes in me the memory of my first University Creative Writing Course. This course, taught by an awesome professor named Dr. Petersen, had a section of it that was done online, through blogger even! The blog, Stranger Than Walmart, had a series of prompts that we students had to answer each week. It was pretty easy. But there was something in that class that we talked about.

"What is Truth?"

Well, there were a lot of general answers ("Not fiction," "reality," etc) but not what Dr. P was looking for. I don't remember exactly what Dr. P was looking for, actually, but I remember his statement. Walmart is Truth. And, truth is always stranger than fiction.

Truth in Lies was supposed to document my life - More truth than lies, certainly. I've decided to relegate that area to my new sister blog, Rats in Pants. Instead of documenting my life, TiL is going to be a place for me to dump things I learn as I work toward becoming a published author - and beyond!

So, for this blog expect many things - inspirational writing quotes, ideas that I get as I write, prompts, microfiction, anything and everything I can think of that pertains to writing! And if you want updates to my life, RiP is the place to look for that!

Introducing ....

Hello, and welcome to my blog. Just starting out, I'm going to try to post in this as often as possible ... or that I remember. Which I guess is as often as possible.

So! About me! I'm Michelle "Washi" Maxfield, almost 21, Aries born in the Year of the Rabbit. Brown haired, blue eyed. I live in Utah, currently attending Uni (more on that in a bit). I've been diagnosed with Bipolar II/hypomania, and severe depression. I'm on medication, and aside from side effects, doing well. For a while I was happier than I had been in a long time. Now I'm just sorta apathetic.

I'm dating Stephen Weeks, also known as "Tene". He's two years older than me, Cancer, and an Ox. He's a sweet guy, although his job often requires him to travel a lot, and he's often away - but I'm away at school right now, anyway, so ... yeah.

Oright, me! I'm easily distracted, and have a very short memory span lately. I often forget what I'm saying partway through a sentence, and I often have to ask people "What?" when they're talking to me, because the words don't fit, or I forget what they were saying the second their done saying it. It is very frustrating.

School ... well, I'm somewhere between a Sophomore and a Junior at my Uni, but I've had some problems this semester. I'm having to take a medical withdrawal, and I won't be coming back to this University, which makes me sad. Things are too hard when I'm so far from home.

The problems? I, and Tene, believe that these problems are caused by my medications. I'm often tired and I have a hard time waking up in the morning. We're talking I can sleep through 3 separate alarms set on my cellphone, which go off at 15 minute intervals, and stay going for 5 minutes each. Yeah, I can sleep through those. What the heck, right? Aside from that is the apathy - I don't care that I'm not getting up, I don't care that I'm not doing things. I know that I should care, but I don't. Also, the forgetfulness thing. That's somewhat new. I'm working on getting off of the medications, but my doctor is ... not a nice word ... and I'm hoping to find someone who knows what the heck they're doing with my medications, instead of the things my current doctor does. Again, frustrating.

Umm, non-complaining things ... I enjoy writing, it's my main hobby and joy. Lately I haven't been doing so well at it, but I hope that gets better as my meds are fixed. I also enjoy drawing, although I don't believe I'm very good at it - I hope that as I draw more I will improve. I have my own webcomic, Kyoot! which is semi-autobiographical, but I'm hoping the characters (personas of my friends and I) take on their own "lives" eventually - like what happened with MacHall before it closed, and Applegeeks now.

There's another thing - I looooove webcomics. There are a little over 30 that I currently watch, but my favorites are Applegeeks, MegaTokyo, Ctrl-Alt-Del, Questionable Content and Dominic Deegan. Not necessarily in that order :) I've also recently fallen in love with Erfworld over at Giant in the Playground. Dwagons are so cute :) I'm thinking of making a plushie of one.

I enjoy doing things with my hands - making and creating things. I want to learn how to sew, as well as crochet and possibly knit. For a while I was interested in cross-stitch, and I could do that again. I also enjoy making hats and scarves on these looms I got a few years ago. They're very nice. I want to learn how to cook, but so far all I can really make aside from packaged foods and pasta are some gooey chocolate cookies, and pull-apart sticky buns.

I wouldn't be a girl if I didn't enjoy shopping - and I do enjoy shopping. A lot. I love cute clothes. Tene has mentioned that I've been becoming more and more "girly" lately. I fear he is correct. But that's because I'm not athletic, at all, and I would rather ... well, I don't know. I have no interest in makeup or other "girly" things, but I like to dress up and look nice. When I'm not apathetic of course.

I like playing on my computer and playing games - on my PS2, GBA-SD, and once I get it, I'm sure I will enjoy games on my DS. I really want an X-Box 360, as well as a Wii, but those are in the future purchases. I have no interest in the PS3 at this time, too expensive and not many games for it that look interesting. I also play games on my computer, but not as many.

I'm an anime geek. I'm currently into One Piece and Bleach, although I really like Ouran High School Host Club - I've just watched all of it. I like reading manga too, of course, and I really like Tsubasa Chronicles and Tramps Like Us.

I was raised in the LDS Church from birth, but now identify as an atheist. I want Truth, but I no longer believe that there is an Ultimate Truth. We'll see what the future holds for this.