Merry Christmas!

When I was little - five or six - my brother's room was right next to mine, and he had a bunk bed. He always slept in the top bunk, and the lower bunk was usually empty. But on Christmas Eve he would let me into his room, and I would sleep on that bottom bunk. We did this for years, even after he moved downstairs, and the bunk bed was abandoned. Once those days come we would sleep in the living room - on the couch and floor. But, until we got into our mid-teens (his late-teens), we would spend Christmas Eve together.

...

My maternal grandmother always, always had her family Christmas party a week or two before Christmas. At first she and my grandpa would have the party in her home - until the family got too big! Now she has her party at various churches and assembly centers, but some things stay exactly as they were.

She still puts on the Nativity with the little kids - everyone dresses up and you've got Mary and Joseph, the shepherds (one year a big group of my cousins were shepherds, and one of my cousins was a sheep - he donned an old sheepskin my grandparents got from Australia years ago, and baaaaah-ed the entire time), the wise men ... and an entire slew of angels. Most years we even had a Baby Jesus! Grandpa will read the nativity story out of the New Testament, and my one cousin, Shanda, will read the part of the angel. She always got the part growing up (I believe she is the oldest grandkid, but I could be wrong), and now that she's an adult with kids of her own - no one else wants it! So every year she dutifully dons a halo and reads: "Glory to God in the highest!"

The other staple of the Steadman Christmas Party is our talent show. Every year at least one person (this last year we saw 3 talents) gets up in front of the family to share their talents with us. From piano playing to singing, from stories to jokes - we have a very talented family.

...

Every Christmas my maternal grandmother gives out two things to all the families that make up our family - a calendar, and a Christmas book. Everyone also gets a named-and-dated ornament for their tree (I now have 22 of the things ... ). But the books, I think she starts planning the book a year in advance. Some past books have been: The Legend of the Candy Cane, Because I Love You, and The Tale of the Three Trees. She always, being the dramatic one of the family, reads the story to all of us. It's a nice tradition.

...

A tradition that started (for me) after my dad and stepmom married is that of opening a present the night before Christmas. I could, of course, be wrong, and we've always done this, but I don't remember opening presents on Christmas Eve before I was nine or ten. The Christmas Eve present was always the same (although, this year it was changed up a bit) - pajamas. Every year I've been able to expect to have a comfortable pair of pajama bottoms. This year, however, we got slippers. Mine are nice and fuzzy and brown.


...


Something fun my mom did for my brother and I up until a year or two ago was hiding our "big" gift. Christmas Eve she and my stepdad would hide the gift somewhere in the house, and my mom would make up a whole list of clues - the first of which was always in our stocking. The treasure hunt that followed was always fun, and sometimes the clues were hard. I think I got stumped at least once a year over something simple - but when the house has 5 or 6 beds in it (or a large number of chairs ... ) - how am I supposed to know which one the clue is talking about?


...


Christmas has always been special with my family - in lean times and in more extravagant ones. I've always looked forward to Christmas morning, and the time I get to spend with my family - all of my family. Now I'm married, and things are different. Tene and I did exchange gifts this year - but I didn't even get his started (let alone finished). We had a tree, but it was a tiny, cute thing that I got from American Girl ages ago. He and I don't really have any Christmas traditions yet. I hope, though, as time goes on and we grow together that we'll build some strong traditions - not just for Christmas, but for every moment of our lives together.


Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night.

Failsaur

 He's supposed to be a dinosaur. Obviously he didn't turn out quite as hoped.

That .... creature .... was going to be a Christmas gift for one of my nephews (who I will call "Mouse"). He's a T-Rex, although you can't really tell. He looks more like a rooster. I was also going to make a blue long-neck dinosaur for Mouse's little brother (who will be called "Little Brother" on this blog), and a green stegosaurus for my other nephew (who will be known as "Alaska," yes these names have meanings, but they're for me to know). Neither of those dinos even got cut out.

I haven't used a sewing machine since seventh grade, where I made a really really ugly pillowcase. I've never followed a pattern. I've never made a pattern. I've never made a plush.

I decided, two days before Christmas, to attempt to do all these things.

Obviously it ended badly.

I did learn some things: (1) I kinda suck at pattern making, because I don't know what I'm doing, (2) Plushies are hard, and (3) I really, really need to make Christmas presents a few months in advance - just in case.

The nephews will be getting dinosaurs, they'll just be getting them late ... Probably sometime in January or February 2010. I'm glad I bought waaaay more fleece than I needed for these guys ... I think I'll be using nearly all of it.

Christmas Packages: Take One!

OMG Christmas is on Friday! I'm running out of time! Wheeeeeee!

So, for our gifts to friends and Tene's coworkers, I'm making rainbow cupcakes. Same recipe as I used for the last ones, except I didn't measure quite so precisely on the vanilla.

Tene took in the first batch of Christmas cupcakes to work today - only six of them, though. Most of his coworkers are done for the week, those who are in the office will be getting the cupcakes.

Today, though, I'm not showing the cupcakes themselves - but their boxes. These boxes were once regular pint-sized wire handled takeout boxes. I removed the handles (I have a whole box of extra wires now), measured and cut out some cute scrapbooking paper, then simply glued the paper to the unfolded boxes. They're being held together by tiny white brads that I got at Joann. The tags are also made by me, using leftover scrap paper, some cardstock, and plain old glue. On the other side I handwrote the "To" and "From" information.

All in all I'm pleased with the result of my boxes. I hope that their recipients enjoy the cupcakes inside!

Decisions Decisions

Lately I've been trying to decide what I want for my near- and far-term future. Looking at near-term as within the next year (possibly 2 years), and far-term as 2 to 5 years in the future. I've been having a lot of trouble trying to decide.

Some basic problems I've come up against are that I no longer know what I want to do for my life. I don't think I want to teach anymore (unless I'm teaching college), and I'm pretty much completely certain that I don't want to teach English anymore (unless I can teach creative writing). I don't know what I do want to do, though, just what I don't.

So, here's what I'm debating:
Near-term (from 2010-2011)

• I don't know if I want to continue going to school here in SLC at the Community College. In investigating what I would need to do to get my AS I found out that it's very possible that the schools in San Francisco I would likely apply to wouldn't accept my AS as completion of general education requirements. I was originally planning on completing my AS here because I was afraid of my credits "expiring" (due to some misinformation), which won't happen. So now I don't know what to do.
• If I don't go to school I think I'm going to focus on my cooking and baking, and my writing.
  
• Tene and I were planning on moving to SF after I finished my degree. Now that I might not be finishing my degree here ... should we move sooner? I'm afraid of moving out of UT, and as a side effect away from 95% of my friends.
• I'm trying to decide if I should get a part-time job (regardless of school or not). It would be nice to have some extra income, but I had so much anxiety just with school this semester that I don't know if I would be able to handle a job, even a part-time "monkey-push-the-button" job.
  
• I'm now going to be seeing a psychiatrist for my mood problems. Before we move I would prefer to be on a stable set of medications, if only because I don't want to have to wait even longer to find a psychiatrist (I'm not going to be seeing my new doctor until January ... so ... ).
• I want pets. When and where ever we move next I am so going to make sure that our apartment is pet-friendly. I hope to have three (maybe four!) rats, and possibly a kitty.
• I want to get my digestion problems figured out. I'm debating beginning an Exclusion, or Rotation Diet within the next year.
  
• I want to have our Commitment Ceremony on June 12, our one year anniversary. I mentioned it to my mother, and she pointed out that it might be weird to have this ceremony so long after the "real" wedding. I don't think this is actually too much of a problem. I'm basically going to treat the ceremony as our wedding.

Long-Term (2012-2015)

• I don't know what I want to do with my life. I'm currently debating between some form of Biology (following the lead of friends Jekka and Kayleigh - I am considering Marine Biology), or possibly Physics (with the end goal of teaching college). Another consideration is to get a business degree, or just open a coffee shop, cafe, or clothing boutique (or some other small shop).I'm also considering aspiring to be a housewife - an idea that sounds very nice to me.

That's actually all for now. It's late and I'm having a hard time thinking. So, probably more later!

Books I'm Interested In

The other night I was taken over to Barnes and Nobel by my friends Ima and Steffy. Ima bought me a book that looks like it will be useful in my fantasy writing, and another that looks interesting from a personal perspective. He also bought a book for Tene which might end up useful in my writing as well.

Taking me to any bookstore ends up being a bad idea, because I looooove books. A lot. Look at my Goodreads list and you'll see that I'm not joking about this. I seriously love books. I hope to get a Kindle for Christmas so that I can save space on my shelves.

And, just in case I wasn't clear: I love books. I love bookstores. When I have no money I should not be allowed anywhere near a bookstore.

So, Ima and Steffy took me to Barnes and Nobel and bought me books. While I was there I looked at a whole bunch of books, and wrote down the ones that looked interesting to me. Many of these dealt with books about writing, which brings me to why this is relevant to Truth In Lies!

These are books I would like to eventually get my greedy little hands on:

Thinking Write by Kelly L. Stone
List Price: $16.95

Why I want it: Well, it sounds cool. This is one of those "psychology of writing" type books. I've parts of (and own) two others, Write and its sequel The Write Type, both by Karen Peterson. Also it has exercises, which I can always use to help jump-start my writing a little.

Overall it sounds a little new-age-ish, but I'm willing to at least give it a shot. If it ends up being too newage I can simply pass it on or throw it out.

The Daily Writer by Fred White
List Price: $17.99

Why I want it: Because it's one of those daily things, honestly. I guess part of me is hoping that if I start a routine of writing every day - even if it starts with a silly book full of motivations, exercises, and other such things.

I would hope that it would also have decent advice for dealing with the age old enemy of all writers everywhere - writer's block. But really, I suspect that something like this would be the best way for me to get into a daily writing habit, and not lose that habit because of one bad day when I can't think of anything to write (since the idea is that you do one exercise a day and all ... )

The Constant Art of Being A Writer by N. M. Kelby
List Price: $17.99

Why I want it: From the descriptions it seems like a nice well-rounded all-around book about the actual process of writing. Which, being an amateur writer and all, I could use all the help I can get in those fields.

Christmas is Coming

Now that it's December I'm kicking into Christmas overdrive. Most of the presents I'm giving I've already decided on, and the majority of them are going to be handmade.

I have no idea what I'm going to give my family members, however. This year I have another sibling to give to - Tene's little sister. Tene's family does what  my family does - every year we draw names for who to give to. It makes Christmas a little cheaper, especially since by the time my family started doing this I was giving 10 siblings presents - not an easy task. But since Tene's family draws names (and my own family draws names) I'm only having to worry about two extras to my list - Tene's little sister E, and his brother-in-law R2. And both of my families are still trying to decide if we're exchanging gifts or not (I have money set aside for both of them, just in case).

So, people recieving gifts from me this year:
First, Family:

• My mother and stepdad: No idea what I'm giving them yet.
• My dad and stepmom: No idea what I'm giving them either.
• Tene's parents: No idea over here either
• My brother, Buck: Not sure what I'm giving him, probably a gift certificate or something
• E: I was thinking of buying her a couple of Threadless Tees, because I think she would like them, but I'm not sure which ones to even consider. Also: I don't know her size. Maybe I'll stick with jewelry or something else? I don't know
• R2: I'm leaving this mostly up to Tene, but I have no idea what we'll send to him
• Nephew S: The oldest of my littlest nephews, S is going to get a handmade dinosaur
• Little Brother: The little brother of Nephew S, I'm going to be giving him a handmade dinosaur too
• Nephew J: Born around the same time as Little Brother (but from different parents .... ), Nephew J will also also be getting a handmade dinosaur
• Tene: He's getting 2 or 3 presents from me, and has only figured out one of them!

Friends:

• All local friends (Ima and Teffy, Sherry, Jaaku, Genjou, Sarah) will be getting cupcakes. Because cupcakes are delicious
• Kayleigh: A visit! And probably cupcakes
  
• Zoie: Will be getting something .... I just don't know what yet (I was going to make a handmade hedgie, but the pattern I had for it was insane ... I may send some delicious cookie mix or something)
  
• Robin: A handmade plush, I'm not saying what kind though
  

 So, an early Happy Holidays to my friends!

Here's to the End

So this is the end of NaNoWriMo for another year. Last night was the last time I had a chance to write and have it go toward my wordcount, and midnight was the time to get my novel verified.

So how did I do? What did I learn?

• I never got above 15,000 words. True, this is more than I have written in years, and I'm back to wanting to write and create, but obviously this isn't quite 50k. So I didn't win (again) this year.
• If I'm writing about something that has some basis in real life (like, say, Fairy Tales and Nursery Rhymes) I should actually know those stories. The story of Hansel and Gretel has a lot of elements that I didn't know about (for example, Hansel and Gretel weren't originally given names, those were added later to separate their story from another story. Originally they were "Little Brother" and "Little Sister." Also it wasn't their father's choice to abandon them in the woods - his wife (their stepmother) pressured him into it).
• Next year I should write something that doesn't require so much research, because researching things that I want to write about is way too fun, and it makes my writing time a lot shorter. So ... nothing based in reality (again: No nursery rhymes or fairy tales or myths. This path ends badly).
• I really need to learn time-management. Like, a lot.
• Staying up until 3am to write may seem like a good idea at the time, but in the end it just leads to messing up my sleep schedule (which in turn messes up my writing schedule and makes me not want to write the next day .... until it's in the wee hours of the morning).
• I should get a laptop. Like, really. Sitting straight up is so not comfortable for writing a long thing. Maybe I need a different chair instead ...
• I learned that when I get sick I need to keep writing, even if I feel like crap.
• I got my imagination back a little! I've been getting more random stories popping up in my head. I almost scratched Never Ever After and started writing a completely different story halfway through.

Overall, even though I didn't win this year, I'm still glad I tried. I'm glad I'm writing a bit more, and I've gotten back a little of that passion to write.

Just wait until 2010 NaNoWriMo. Just wait.

Ratties, Ratteries, and Pets

Shortly after Avi's death I had a really hard time with my depression. We're talking absurdly hard time. I would cry when I saw her empty cage - and it took me a good week to finally move it out of my room. I had a very hard time adjusting to not having any pets.

Then I read a horrible story about a kitten killed in a horrific horrible way (no link, because the story is old and because it's so sad: here's some links to cute things instead) and it made what I was dealing with worse.

Well, then I started planning on getting married and moving in with Tene. I started doing better when I moved in, and I soon saw a doctor (I like my doctor) and she put me on Zoloft. I haven't done excellently on Zoloft (I was started at 50mg, which wasn't enough and so was raised to 100mg where the side effects made me feel miserable practically all of the time and my mood didn't improve at all, lowered back to 50mg - again wasn't enough for me, now I'm on 75mg ... Next time I see my doctor I'll likely be referred to a psychiatrist and I'll play the "Wheel of Meds" game again), but I've at least been functional/moderately able to manage my mood. I've still had a lot of motivational problems, as well as mood problems. No hyperactivity, though, which is good.

Something that seems to help me is having something - really anything - to take care of. At the moment, that's my plants - the bamboo and my bulb. The bulb is starting to sprout finally, and I'm becoming excited to see what kind of plant it is (I found the bulb downtown, unplanted, and figured I'd take care of it). I tried planting some bonsai seeds, but they're not sprouting - I suspect that they're far past their expiration date. Anyway, I think that I should try to take care of something that can return my affections.

Unfortunately it's unlikely that I'll be able to have rats in the current apartment, and I would have a hard time affording some basic things for them right now (let alone spaying and/or neutering them ... ). But, our lease is up in June, and we might not sign on for another six months, but instead move to a different apartment complex - perhaps one that allows pets! Or one that would honor therapeutic pets (this complex allows companion animals for the blind/deaf/etc, but not therapy animals).

So, in the meantime, I'm going to try to save some money up for some new rats - 3 of them, to be exact :). I'm also going to keep my eye on two local ratteries: Adelaide's and Frannie's. I've sent an email to both of them about my intention/desire to adopt in six/seven months, and I hope to keep in touch with them over the intervening months.

Tene and I have also talked about getting a cat, but I'm uncertain if we're actually going to or not.

Thanks

I was going to post this yesterday, but yesterday ended up being a very busy day, being Thanksgiving and all. So instead, I'll post it today - on a day when leaving the house seems like a very bad idea (crazy black Friday shoppers ... ).

I am thankful that by chance I was born into this world and was able to be adopted by a loving family who took great care of me and raised me well.

I am thankful that by chance a certain boy began speaking to me in a high school computer course, thereby changing both of our lives forever.

I am thankful that by chance I have met so many wonderful people, friends, who stand by me and love me - they are part of my family.

I am thankful that by chance I was born into a good middle-class family, and so have always been provided for.

I am thankful that by chance I live in a world that can provide for me more than I need.

I am thankful that by chance I live in a country where I can get an education, rather than being considered little more than a womb. I am also thankful that I have the option of having, or not having, children - and no one else can decide that for me.

I am thankful that by chance I live in a world where I can choose an occupation, or none, for myself. That I live in a world where I can honestly be anything I wish, and that my future is not decided by anyone else.

I am thankful that by chance I live in a country with wonderful healthcare  - and yet I can still complain that I want it to be better.

I am thankful for this world - this beautiful, natural world.

I am thankful for my parents, my stepparents, and my otherparents. I am thankful to my birthmother, for choosing to carry me to term. I am thankful for my brother, halfbrother, stepsiblings, and othersiblings - they are all so supportive of me when I need them to be. I'm thankful for my nephews and nieces. I am thankful for my lover and partner, I hope he will always remain by my side. I am thankful for my friends - Kayleigh, Zoie, Jekka, Teffy and Ima, Jaaku, Marty, Sherry ... and all the others who have touched my life in ways unimaginable.

Finally .... Success!

 Finally I've made a cupcake that is tasty and looks cute!

See!? Look how cute they are!

There is a bit of orange batter in there, right next to the yellow, but I didn't add enough red coloring to the batter, so it looks like there's just a big blob of yellow in the middle.

The cupcakes themselves aren't overly sweet, which is a nice constrast to the very sweet buttercream frosting. Tene put the mini chocolate chips on two of the cupcakes - and it's actually pretty tasty.

Thanks to Melika for my new whisk :D

Cupcakes Hate Me

A couple of days ago, I tried making cupcakes again. This time, I tried to make these Chocolate Chip Cupcakes from Bake or Break. They ended up .... bad.

First off, they taste weird. I think they are a bit too strong on the vanilla front, where Tene claims that they're overloaded with waaaaay too much butter. Which I can certainly understand, since I'm pretty sure there's too much butter too.

Second, they cooked weird. My cupcake pans are covered in the topping.

Finally, they were greasy. Like, dripping with grease. Was really gross.

No idea what went wrong with them, and I may try them again sometime, but for now .. these are in my "not good cupcakes" box.

Exercising

I keep meaning to start up an exercise schedule to whip my skinny butt into decent shape (seriously, I can't carry loads of laundry back and forth between my apartment and the laundry center without running out of breath and getting a stitch in my side. I can barely lift 30lbs without feeling overwhelmed. I'm a weakling), but I keep putting it off because ... well ... there really aren't any good reasons why I put it off, I just do. I'm lazy, mostly, and really really really unmotivated to do much of anything productive with my health - be it eating healthier or exercising or anything else that would be good for me.

So I've started thinking about various exercises that sound interesting to me, after all - where better to start than at the beginning: choosing an exercise of choice.

My options, or the things that sound interesting to me, are as follows:

• Running - Now, I've always hated running. I get a stitch in my side and feel like I'm going to die. I always have - I don't think I've ever run a full mile. Run/walked a full mile, sure, but never run a full mile. But for some reason, running sounds nice to me. Therapeutic somehow, I guess.
• Belly Dancing - Belly dancing has always sounded fun to me. Exotic. I just can't dance. I have no sense of beat anymore, and I'm not exactly what you would call "graceful." Even when I'm really into the music (say, when I was at the VNV show) my movements are jerky, not smooth. It's always been a problem. Also, I feel like I have this little pot-belly in development and it embarrasses me.
• Poi Dancing - Specifically with LED or Fire poi. Unfortunately, poi has the same issue that belly dancing has - I am not graceful, and I can't dance. There is the added problem that I haven't been able to find a studio which teaches poi in Salt Lake yet.
  
• Yoga - I have really enjoyed yoga in the past, and even though I don't believe in the spiritual aspects of it, I still find it refreshing. If I were to take up yoga again I would most likely take courses from Flow Yoga SLC, especially since most of the other yoga places, as far as I can tell, focus heavily on much more intense yoga than I would be comfortable starting out with (like, say, yoga in heated rooms).
• Martial Arts - Specifically kick-boxing (even if it is like the Tae-Bo thing), mixed martial arts (if that's even taught), or jiu-jitsu. My big problem here is I'm very very very much a pacifist, and I don't think I want to hurt other people.
• Free Running/Parkour - Upsides: Low cost, since there are groups that do free running together (like SLCPK), it seems like something I could do given time, and it looks friggin' fun. Downsides: ... I'm scared of breaking something, I can't do any gymnastics or acrobatics (I never even learned how to do a handstand or a cartwheel properly), and, well, I'm not really a good runner.
• Medieval Sword Fighting OR Kendo - I don't know why but both of these sound fun to me. And I don't mean fencing. I mean playing with longswords or katanas. Buuut I've always been a little crazy.

So there's a list of various exercises I've been thinking about. Maybe I'll start running over at the laundry building ... 

Broke 10,000!

Today the NaNoWriMo site was down for a few hours, and now the Progress Reports are gone. I'm just going to have to make my own, I think.

But that's not the OMG HUGE NEWS that I have to share. That news is ........

I broke 10,000 words in my writing session tonight! WHOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

Sure, I should be up to 15,000, and I'm not ... But I broke 10,000 words! This is the farthest I've ever gotten in my three years of participating in NaNoWriMo! I can easily get another 5,000 (well, actually nearly 7,000, because now it's November 10, which means - 1,667 more words) out tomorrow. I have a vague plotline of the next few chapters - they include Red going insane and nearly killing Goldilocks, and Hansel and Gretel (my insane twins with attachment disorders, homicidal tendencies, pyromania, and claustrophobia) will be making their appearance soon too!

Wow, I need sleep.

First Week

So, I meant to update every day about how my story is going ... in part to keep me writing. But
then I got sick over the week, and Tene got very very sick, and my writing tapered off at 5200 words. I haven't written in days. As of today I'm supposed to be just over 13,000 words. I'm going to try to reach that number, but I don't know if I'll be able to do it. I'm rather stuck on my story, I don't know where to go with it.

For research I've thought of picking up a copy of the DSM-IV, after all my story takes place in an asylum, and I would like to have the patients have realistic diagnoses. But, I don't want to waste hours on research when I have limited writing time. Maybe I'll pick up a copy for the rewrite.

Oh, but look! In the left sidebar there is now a widget to show how many words I've written! Hooray!

Anyway, I should get back to writing.

I Make Plans

Tene and I were married nearly six months ago (crazy, isn't it?), and we didn't have a large ceremony. I, however, want a bit of a larger ceremony - what I'm going to call a commitment ceremony. We were making plans to have such a ceremony in October, but stress and some points of life got in the way of it. We've finally set on a date for the ceremony, and that date is the anniversary of our wedding: June 12, 2010.

I am the main one making plans for the ceremony, and so far this is as much as I have decided (well, I've decided on colors - white, blue, and orange [blue is Stephen's favorite color, orange is mine, and they are complementary colors]). I plan, however, to update Rats In Pants with any plans I have for this ceremony.

In other news, I now know when I'm going to be finishing up my Associates Degree (Associates of Science)! I should be graduating in two semesters, so the end of summer semester. I'm excited!

First Day

So NaNoWriMo has officially begun. My word count at midnight was 2351, so a bit above today's goal (1667). I added a widget to the left side of the blog, but it doesn't seem to be working quite yet. I'll give it a few days. Hopefully they're working on it.

I decided to go with the dark fairy tales story - but I changed it up a little. Instead of writing an entire story just on Little Red Riding Hood, I decided to make the world of Faerie a little bit darker.

Most of the kids you've heard about in fairy tales and nursery rhymes didn't actually end up living happily ever after. Their experiences were often so horrific that they became tainted with the darkness. Most of those heroes and heroines reside in the Never After Asylum - a place for everyone from those who are simply neurotic, to those who are criminally insane. At 14, a year after her harrowing experience with the wolf, Little Red Riding Hood is admitted to the asylum. But what happens behind the closed and barred doors of that dark place?

So, that's what my story is. I'm really excited, obviously.

As of today, I have written a very short prologue, and part of my first chapter. Red has just entered her grandmother's home.

NaNoWriMo - I'm a glutton for punishment

Yep, I'm a glutton for punishment. I'm trying out NaNoWriMo again this year, after losing the last two years. I'm not positive what my story this year is going to be about. I'm debating working on the story I started last year, but I think I'm a little too attached to it to try that out. I have a different story idea, but I'm not sure how well I can pull it off.

The story I'm thinking of doing is a darker (and obviously longer) version of Little Red Riding Hood's story. Maybe continue it all the way until the after-effects of meeting the wolf and being eaten. One problem I may have is that I don't actually know the "original" version of Little Red's story - I've only ever heard the Disnified version (where she and her grandma are saved by the helpful woodcutter and live happily ever after), I also don't know if there is a different version (Wikipedia doesn't seem to think so, at least, none that are more violent than the one I grew up with as a child).


If I don't do that, then I'll try the story I wrote last year, about my assassin barmaids who come from a village that pretty much raises all their people to be assassins (kinda like ninja villages, but with magic).


Besides, how could I not do NaNoWriMo this year? Look at the little bookrobot! He's a cutie!

Fun with Guns

Tene and I have a visitor from out-of-town staying with us for a couple of weeks. Yesterday we went to to the Lions Gate Rifle, Shotgun, and Pistol Range with Tene's boss. He bought some new guns recently and needed to test them out.

I really enjoyed firing a nice suppressed .22. It didn't have too much of a kick, wasn't too heavy, and I was pretty good with my aim. I also fired two higher-caliber pistols, but I didn't like them quite as much. Too heavy, too much kick, etc. I got compliments on my "sharpshooting."

I also got to play with a laser sighting. It wasn't correctly sighted to the gun that I was using, but once Tene figured that out (after I had used up three magazines from the gun) I realized why all my shots seemed to be hitting lower than I thought they should.

I really would like to get myself a nice handgun. They're fun to fire, definitely give me some form of stress relief, and it would be a nice "I feel safer" sort of thing. But they're expensive, and I'm not quite ready to consider classes and such to get a concealed carry permit. Maybe eventually though.

Safely Confined

I have a hard time with my depression sometimes. Lately I've been doing okay overall, but there'll be days when I'm just not up to anything at all.

My meds are still not at a comfortable level. I saw my doctor yesterday, and she raised my Zoloft once more (to 75mg) but I have a suspicion that when I go back in around 6 weeks we're going to have to play the Wheel of Antidepressants again. She also mentioned that it would be good for me to possibly see a psychiatrist (to manage my medications), and would definitely be good to get me into some type of therapy program. I agree with her.

I also go my flu shot.

Last time I saw her she gave me a prescription for Klonopin, which has helped on days that I'm feeling really anxious in the mornings. Out of the 15 pills she gave me a month ago, I have 7½ left. I've been very careful when taking them, because it is very easy to built up an tolerance to Klonopin (and its sister medications Ativan and and Xanax), and the last thing I want is to have to be taking a bunch of these pills to feel stable. Only real side-effect I've noticed from the Klonopin is that it makes me a little sleepy.

Today, however, is a down day. I'm feeling depressed, very sad, mostly apathetic. I'm annoyed by the book I was reading (which until today I'd been reading voraciously, absolutely intrigued by it), I found John Stewart and Colbert only vaguely entertaining, and I'm mostly apathetic about things. I've also had a few impulses/desires to cause myself harm.

It's this last thing that I wanted to talk about. I get these impulses every now and then, and usually they mean that I'm in a bad spot mentally or emotionally and I need to be very careful. One thing I've learned to do when I start feeling this way very strongly is to get into a safe, preferably confined, area or space.

Currently that space is my bed.

When I start feeling overly depressed and thoughts of self-harm start looking like "good" options, I will tell Tene what's going on, and then I will wander over to the bed and curl up on it. Until I start feeling better or he is home I will stay there. Safe, confined to the mattress. It may sound weird, and is probably a little crazy, but it makes me feel safe. As long as I stay on that bed nothing bad can or will happen to me. Not as a result of my own actions, or as the result of anyone else's actions. I am safe.

So, I'm going to retreat to my safe area now.

Parmesan Chicken, 4-cheese White Sauce, and Garlic-Cheese Bread

I don't want this blog to be primarily a baking blog - I've seen (and follow) a whole slew of those. Instead, I want it to be a food (and crafts) blog, following my adventures in learning to cook and bake.

Tonight I decided I wanted parmesan chicken. From there the meal expanded to include a 4-cheese white sauce on pasta and some garlic bread.

The parmesan chicken recipe I used was one that I found on allrecipes.com.  The only change I made to the recipe was halving it.

The four-cheese sauce was also found on allrecipes.com, and was also halved. I rather liked this recipe, and I'm glad I found it - the last one I tried used cream-cheese as it's base, and didn't have that little bit of a kick that I wanted. I also substituted a sharp cheddar for the provolone cheese on this one, due to not being able to find provolone.

Finally the garlic bread. We bought little demi baguettes from Costco, cut them in half, then layered them with mozarella and parmesan cheese and some garlic powder. Then we toasted them in the oven for a few minutes.

All in all, it was a tasty meal, and one I hope to have again - perhaps this time with some minor changes to the recipes.

Recipes below the break.

Four-Cheese Sauce
Yield: 2 cups

Ingredients

• 1 cup whipping cream
• 1/4 cup butter
• 1/4 cup grated Parmesan cheese
• 1/4 cup shredded mozzarella cheese
• 1/4 cup grated sharp cheddar cheese
  
• 1/4 cup grated Romano cheese

In a saucepan combine the whipping cream and butter. Bring to a simmer over medium heat, stirring frequently until butter melts.

Gradually stir in the four cheeses and then reduce heat to low. Continue to stir until all the cheese is melted.

Sauce thickens upon standing, serve quickly.

Parmesan Chicken
Yield: 2 breasts

Ingredients

• 2 boneless, skinless chicken breast halves
• 1/4 cup Italian seasoned bread crumbs
• 1 tablespoon grated Parmesan cheese
• 1/4 teaspoon dried basil
• 1 egg
• 1 tablespoon butter or margarine
• 1 tablespoon vegetable oil

In a shallow bowl, combine bread crumbs, Parmesan cheese and basil. In another bowl, beat the egg.

Dip chicken into egg, then coat with crumb mixture.

In a large skillet, brown chicken in butter and oil over medium heat for 3-5 minutes on each side or until juices run clear.

Zombieland and 9

I got to go see Zombieland (rated R) last Friday (October 2) with an interesting group of people. The group I went with all dressed up like zombies or zombie hunters - which, lets face it, was awesome. I'm not in the zombie picture because I didn't dress up - I don't have any makeup at the moment, or clothes that I wouldn't mind tearing up, and I had to go pick up my boy from the airport since he had been out working all week.

Now, Zombieland was awesome. Had your classic zombie-movie elements, and was a little more gratuitous with the blood/gore than I generally enjoy, but ... it's a zombie movie. Of course there's going to be blood. What probably made it the most enjoyable for me was that, while it was a zombie flick, it was also very, very funny. I was laughing almost the entire time.

First: I loved the main character's "survival list" - because I swear that's something I will be doing if we ever face the zombie apocalypse. The little popups throughout the movie, reminders of various rules, were also great.

Second: I loved all the characters. I could empathise with geeky Columbus, beat-em-up Tallahassee was just awesome (and reminded me a little of "Shoot then ask" Jayne from Firefly, except with less guns), Wichita was hot, and Little Rock was cute in a "I'm older than I look" kind of way. I was so worried near the end that some of them were going to die and I was like "But, noooo! I like them too much!"

Third: The whole thing was just so absurd. Driving across the country to get to a theme park, massacring zombies all along the way? The basic plot makes no sense - but it was well done.

In all: 3.5 out of 4 stars due to some things being a little too cliche or gimmicky.

Now, I tried to not give away much plot on Zombieland, but there will be spoilers for 9 as I discuss it, so ... if you haven't seen it yet and are planning on seeing it, don't read anymore! My rating of 9 is 2.5 out of 4 stars.


The next day, (October 3) I went and saw 9 (rated PG13) with a small group of friends.

I liked 9, but wasn't overly impressed by it. I left the theater feeling a little let down and underwhelmed, after having heard so much good about the film.

I liked the characters, but couldn't really empathize with any of them. They all seemed very one-dimensional, which was perhaps on purpose, since they were all pieces of someone's soul.

On that note, it seemed that each of the characters embodied some specific part of their creators personality.

• 1 was Self-Preservation, and Preservation-of-Group. His main interest was keeping everybody (and himself) safe. Perhaps that aspect of the scientists personality was the first to go, so that he could complete the remaining 8.
• 2 was Innovation and Exploration. He was, at his center, Inquisitive.
• 3 and 4 were probably my favorites (tied with 6). They are twins and don't speak (3 has no mouth) but communicate with blinks and other visual cues. They are Scholarly. They spend most of their time in, what I think used to be, a library - cataloguing, memorizing, and learning.
• 5 was the Healer, Pacifist, and (according to Wikipedia) the Engineer. He was also the Student to 2. The main things we see from him is his Healer nature.
• 6 was my other favorite - the Artist. He rarely talks, but when he did it was important. I don't know why I liked him so much ... I think he reminded me a bit of myself.
• 7 was the Warrior. Bravery, a Fighting Spirit. She's also the only female in the group. I liked that she was included, and female, but it felt almost like a patronizing sort of thing. Also - the stitchpunks were given life from the scientist. Who was male. Where'd a female personality come from?
• 8 was most definitely the Bully. Perhaps he is supposed to protect the group, but he seems to be more a stereotypical more-brawn-than-brains-bully. He also has a drug problem.
• and, of course, titular 9. 9 is, of course, the Hero. He has aspects of all the other stitchpunks (bravery, curiosity, questioning), and seems to be the most fleshed out of all the characters. I didn't like him much, though.

Something that bothered me, a lot, was the ending. Now - I didn't mind the use of "alchemy" or "magic" in the movie (after all, it fits with Clarke's third law: "Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic" and Niven/Lackey's law: "any sufficiently advanced magic is indistinguishable from technology"), it fit with the scene, and I was comfortable with the combination of "magic" and technology.

No, the part that bugged me was that the spirits of those who were lost (1, 2, 5, 6, and 8) were just released. They have a way of bringing the spirits back. They have bodies for 4 of the 5, and could easily get a holding body for 2, and yet .... they release the souls into the sky where they give birth to .... bacteria? amoebas? I know it was supposed to be a touching "farewell" scene, but I just kept thinking "No! You can save them! WTF are you doing!?"

Finally, I didn't feel like there was a plot so much as "Oh, here's some events I want to happen. Lets string them together!" Which I didn't enjoy very much.

So, 2.5/4 for 9 because of a lack of plot, character development, and a crappy ending.

Updates to Life, The Universe, and Everything

So, I should be updating weekly, but I keep forgetting.

First off:
On August 21st I went in to the doctor to get one of the bumps on my eyelid removed. The largest bump was on my upper left eyelid, near the bottom of it. The doctor made a small cut along the crease of my eyelid, and tunnelled down to where the bump was. Even after removing it, he admitted that he had no idea what it was - it was attached to the tarsus of that eyelid, which is apparently very odd. He sent it in to be biopsied, and my official diagnosis came back a week later. It reads:

Palisading granulomatous process with increased mucin and scattered neutrophils, favor deep granuloma annulare ...

My doctor translated this doctor-speak as "They're unsure about what exactly it is, but it isn't dangerous. What they think it is - a deep granuloma annulare - is an infection, no one knows what it's caused by, but they tend to go away on their own, and don't typically need any type of medical intervention."

True to what he suspected, the other bumps have gone away. They might come back, but again - they're not dangerous.

Something of interest about this all - I got really freaked out about the surgery. I've always been a little paranoid about things near my eyes, it's part of why I wear glasses rather than contacts. I also don't ever use eyedrops, I can't flush my eyes out with water very easily, and getting standard medical check-ups to test my eyesight is hard for me to do (especially the eye-pressure test thing). So, I was freaking out about someone being near my eye with needles and scalpels. After making my worries known to my doctor, they prescribed me 2mg of Ativan to take before my surgery (I was to take one milligram of it an hour before, and then take the second if I needed it. I ended up taking both, just to be on the safe side).

When Tene and I left to go (he had to drive, thanks to the Ativan) the Ativan was definitely kicking in. I was feeling great ... and I felt better than I have in years. When I got home, Tene and our mutual friend Robin, both convinced me to write an email to myself. Here are some parts of it.

Hi. This is Ativan-Washi, emailing who, I assume, is a Sober-Washi. I ... have some things to tell you. I only hope I make sense, because the Ativan has really gone to my head.

...

Look at any of the hundreds of pictures of yourself, of us. Of us with [Tene], of us alone, of us with roommates - all of those roomates! See that girl? That happy, smiling, laughing girl who is enjoying her life? That's us. That's how we should be every ... day of our lives, not "Oh, woe, poor is me!" Snap out of it. Take those brave steps forward. Yeah, you're going to [screw] up sometimes, and yeah, it's going to hurt sometimes, but we have friends. We have family members who love us, we have friends who are like our family. We're well taken care for. Perfection is fine to aim for - if you're only idly wanting it. What is much, much more important is that you improve! That you try, and take chances. Sometimes you might run the risk of make the biggest mistake of your life, but it's a mistake, and mistakes can be fixed.

You don't need to justify your existence. No one does. I love you, but c'mon, enough of this "poor me" bs. It's getting old, and fast. Sure you're going to [mess] up. Very rarely you're going to [mess] up spectacularly. And you know what? It doesn't matter. Messing up a dinner doesn't play into the value of anyone else. Why do you use it to degrade your value. OUR value.

I love you, I do. And I love me. I love how I'm feeling right now. Completely at peace with myself and my life ...

Thank you for reading.

So, basically, I was feeling absolutely great while I was taking Ativan.

I've since talked to my doctor, and have some Clonazepam to take on days when I'm feeling worse-than-is-desirable. My Zoloft is still at 50mg (it was temporarily raised to 100mg, but I did very poorly on the higher dosage - my side effects increased by a large amount, with no real benefit to my mood), and I seem to be doing alright. It's still touch-and-go, but I'm improving, and that's the important part, right?

Talk to you all later

Name Change

Sing a song of sixpence, a bag full of rye,
Four and twenty blackbirds baked in a pie:
When the pie was opened, the birds began to sing;
And wasn't this a dainty dish to set before the king?

The king was in the parlour, counting out his money;
The queen was in the kitchen, eating bread and honey;
The maid was in the garden, hanging out the clothes,
There came a little blackbird and nipt off her nose.

Sing a Song of Sixpence; Mother Goose

So, I decided to change the name of this blog, following from the Mother Goose rhyme above, and a few other things.

1. While I will be including things on crafts, this is more likely to be very strongly a cooking blog, not a craft blog - due to the basic facts that I do not have a sewing machine, and I don't do many crafts; yet I do have a kitchen, and I'm aiming to cook and bake much more often than I currently do.
2. My recent acquisition of a specific web domain is leading me to rethink some things. I'm looking to orient my personal site around ravens and crows, so renaming this blog to something including "black birds" feels appropriate.
3. Yes, I changed the number in the poem - I prefer 3 and 20, and I believe that is how the rhyme was originally told to me, since it feels more correct to me when I repeat the poem than "4 and 20."

That's about it. I hope to get some graphics for this site up soon, and now that I have a set idea in mind, it will be a lot easier for me to do.

Thanks for reading!

Volcano Cakes

So here's a silly and exciting cooking adventure, since there's nothing else here.

I had a get-together with a lot of my friends back in May, and decided I wanted to have cupcakes there. Stephen and I went and bought the ingredients that were needed to make a recipe for Chocolate Cupcakes with Chocolate Buttercream. It was the first time I had made cupcakes, and I was trying to do my best to follow the directions. However, the cupcakes ended in disaster, becoming instead "Volcano Cakes." A messy version of the tasty cupcakes.

The first problem that I can point to as potentially being a problem were the baking cups used, which were foil and didn't require a baking pan (but needed a cookie sheet underneath them). They probably weren't the problem at all, but it was something that I wasn't used to (I've only ever seen paper baking cups used), and so thought could be a potential problem.

Another problem which likely effected the taste of the cupcakes (I didn't actually eat them when they were completed, as they appeared to be very burnt) was that we used a sweetened cocoa powder rather than an unsweetened cocoa powder. Of course this would have only made them sweeter - and wouldn't have necessarily been a problem.

However, I know I tried my best to get the recipe as close to correct as I could, and followed the directions implicitly. Still, while cooking the cupcakes, I realized something was going wrong when they weren't raising like they were supposed to. They also seemed to be taking far too long to cook - which is why they ended up burnt, I think.

The second thing that went wrong happened when making the frosting for the cupcakes. Both Stephen and I overlooked the fact that the frosting (as any frosting would) called for Confectioners sugar. We instead used regular sugar. The result was very crunchy frosting-like stuff.

All in all, it was an exciting adventure, and one I hope to never, ever, repeat.

Projects Brewing in the Brainpan

I'm still alive! And I'm still mostly not writing.

On the upside, I'm now on medications for depression again. For more information, check out Rats in Pants, where I explain everything that's been going on in my life lately.

I do have some projects that I'm planning on starting up soon, though, despite not having creativity going very well.

First, two blog-style writing projects named, at the moment, Truth and Three's a Crowd.

• Truth is a modern-fantasy, taking place in an AU Earth where magic works and was embraced up until science became a focal point of everything. Magic still works, it's just so fiddly that most people don't use it. Mythical creatures and monsters also exist, and the humanoid ones are a part of human (yes, human) society, where they are mostly hiding in plain sight (under glamours). Enter Truth, the main character, who is just starting college. Truth is named so because she can "See the truth of things" - in other words, she can usually tell when someone is lying to her, but even more important - she can see through glamours. I'm hoping to get in to some equality type stuff, as well as (maybe) religious, emotional, and just interesting.
• Three's A Crowd is a little different. It takes place in our world, in our time, and is about a woman coming to terms with her husband's polyamory (for more information, look here and here. Disclaimer: I haven't actually looked deep into the two latter websites, I cannot account for their content). I'm writing this partially from experience, and partially from things I've read or heard about since learning about polyamory. It will follow the two main character's relationship as it grows and changes with time.
  

Second, I have my own domain now! So I'm going to be working on building my own website, and probably integrating all my blogs into that. Once everything is finalized (there's a domain name that I want, which I got, but it was .net rather than .com. The .com version is set to expire any time in the next three days - so I'm going to try to get it for my own :D If I don't, I can simply use my .net, which will be fine. More on that once I figure out what's going to be happening with it.

Finally, I'm hoping to get all of my webcomics up and running!

• I'm going to be redesigning Kyoot!'s website, and I hope to update it at least once a week, if not more - and I have a "special" that I'm going to be running over the course of two months based on something that Eliezer Yudkowsky of Overcoming Bias and Less Wrong wrote a while ago. I'm hoping to do it justice.
• I also hope to be updating Storyline once a week, getting it's webpage finished.
• Finally, I hope to start up another RPG-Based webcomic under the name Legends Never Die, but first I need to figure out if I care enough to or not. If I do, it will also be updating at least once a week (or I may alternate between Storyline and Legends), and will have it's own site over at ComicGenesis (for now, at least), or possibly at Drunk Duck. Or, if I get ambitious, I'll host it myself on my new server :D We'll have to wait and see.
  

And, aside from a few artistic projects, a long-term writing project (working title: Trinity of the Gods), and becoming a more active member of The Writing Circle, that's about all I have!

Life Goes On, Things Change

A lot has happened since my last post. Lets see if I can get them down in the order that they happened.

First off, I got married! Stephen Weeks (Tene) and I married on June 12, 2009 - just a tiny civil ceremony at the city county building. Our witnesses were our friends Nic and Marjut, who live in Finland and happened to be visiting Utah at the time. Others invited were our immediate family, and one of my stepsisters (who took photos), and that's all. In total, there were 16 of us in the room. We're considering doing something bigger later.

The next day Tene and I moved into an apartment complex. We have a cute little loft apartment, that feels a little big than it is. We need to get ourselves a couch still, but we mostly have everything we need, which is good. One unfortunate aspect is that the complex doesn't allow pets aside from service animals, and when I asked them specifically about therapeutic pets, they said they didn't count as service animals. So I might not be getting rats again for a while. Which is unfortunate. (I'm still going to try, though. I mean, they would help me out a lot)

I also got to go see VNV Nation when they were in town. That was really fun and I got all done up to see them. I really enjoy their music, and they were awesome to see in concert. It was also a lot of fun to get dressed up like I did. Even better, I got to meet them! I thought it would be a bit more fun, but we were the last people to go see them at the Greywhale they were at, and they had to run off to do a soundcheck for the show, so I guess that it not being as exciting and fun as I thought it would be is forgiveable. I also learned of a new Industrial band that I really like, one of the groups VNV was touring with - Ayria. I also got to meet the singer for their group, and she signed my CD. It was really a lot of fun. Tene and I also went to the afterparty at Club Vegas, but I was soooo tired and dead by that time.

The only other thing that's been really big and going on in my life has been working out all my health problems - both mental and physical.

On the physical side, before Tene and I got married I went in and had a CT scan for some bumps by my left eye. The bumps hurt a little, and they are growing and multiplying. The CT was done to figure out exactly where the masses were (which it revealed quite well) so that I could go in for surgery to have them removed and biopsied. I go in to see the doctor who will be doing the surgery on July 31 - hopefully we'll be setting up an appointment for the surgery that day, and I can get it done with. The downside to the CT scan was that it found a mass inside my ear. I haven't had a chance, yet, to see an Ear-Nose-And-Throat doctor about that so far, but I'm pretty sure it's not too urgent.

On the mental side - I am back on Zoloft (50mg). I have felt better since I started taking it than I have in .... quite a while. I'm happy, I'm enjoying my life, and my anxiety has been manageable! It's amazing. My motivation and creativity are still not here, however, and I've been having stomach problems (nausea and cramping) since I started taking the meds. Hopefully those will fix themselves and I'll be just fine, but I may have to tweak my medication a few more times before I'm good to go, not that that is very surprising or anything.

I also have some creative projects in the works, but you can go read all about those over at Truth in Lies!

Delicious Cookies

I found the recipe for these cookies over at Bake or Break. To break in the new stove, I decided to make the recipe for "My Favorite Chocolate Chip Cookies." Now, these are also the first cookies I've made in ... well ... years. I think they turned out quite well.

:pic:

I modified the recipe slightly, but tried to keep with the original as much as I could. Here's a reprint of the recipe, with my modifications.

Delicious Chocolate Chip Cookies

• 1 cup butter, softened
• 1 cup granulated sugar
• 1 cup firmly packed light brown sugar
• 2 large eggs
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 2 cups all-purpose flour
• 1 teaspoon baking powder
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
• ½ teaspoon salt
• 2½ cups uncooked regular oats
• 1½ cups semisweet chocolate chips
• 4 ounces milk chocolate candy bar, coarsely chopped
• 1 cup chopped pecans

1. Preheat oven to 375°.
2. Beat butter at medium speed in a heavy-duty mixer until creamy. Gradually add sugars and beat well. Add eggs and vanilla, beating well.
3. In a separate bowl, combine flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt. Gradually add to butter mixture and beat well.
4. Process oats in a food processor until finely ground. Add to butter mixture and beat well. Stir in chocolates and pecans.
5. Drop cookies by tablespoonfuls onto ungreased baking sheets. Bake for 8-10 minutes or until lightly browned. Cool slightly on baking sheets. Then, remove to wire racks to cool completely.

Makes about 4 dozen cookies.

In my version, I left out the pecans, and replaced the candy bar with extra chocolate chips (I ended up adding about an extra ½ cup). I also made a huge mistake - I left out the salt. The cookies were delicious anyway, which means they'll be even better next time I make them (when I can add salt). I'm glad about this, but I do feel a little silly for having left the salt out (I remember reading and rereading my printed out recipe, thinking - and saying - "It's so weird there's no salt in these!" I guess that's a recipe reading fail on my part.)
Regardless, these were some delicious cookies. I hope to make them again.

Rest In Peace, Aviendha

I put Avi to sleep. I took her to the vet at 10:30 this morning, and after talking to him we decided that the best course of action would be to euthanize her. Like Min, Avi's tumor had gotten large, and was uncomfortable for her. It was also beginning to take away the nutrients that she needed - essentially starving her slowly. I'd called the vet yesterday to have her looked at, so this wasn't as much of a surprise as Min's death (2 days shy of one year ago) had been.

She's buried in my mother's backyard - next to Min and under the cherry tree.

Update on Surgery

Well, I went and saw the periodontist again a couple of days ago. My two times daily regime of brushing my gums is doing what it was supposed to, and they think that they'll be able to do the surgery in two weeks. So it is scheduled! I will be temporarily losing my ability to eat solids on February 12, the day before my little sister's wedding. Oh, how lovely I will look in the wedding photos.

On the up side, I do get to have the IV sedation, so I don't have to be conscious for the cutting and the pulling and the grafting. Hooray! Despite this way being slightly more dangerous this way will keep me from panicking halfway through the surgery. Which can only be a good thing. On the down side, I will be unable to bite down on anything with my front teeth for anywhere from a few days to a couple of weeks.

Some other things: The surgery will "only" take an hour, and is pretty minor. Also the mouth heals quickly, so I'm looking at worst case scenario with the "couple of weeks" thing (on the other hand, I couldn't eat solid foods comfortably for four days after getting my wisdom teeth removed, so perhaps my mouth doesn't heal as fast as others?).

Here's hoping it goes well.

In other news: I'm starting to work on Kyoot! again, for all those who like my comic. Also, If you look over at my Sister Sites on the side you'll see that I've started yet another blog, although this one doesn't have anything on it yet. Check it out sometime (well, hopefully not soon, but eventually it will have some content): Stitched Sheep. Eventually it will have my adventures in craft-making and cooking.

Life Changes ... A Spot Of Silence

I apologize for my lack of communication lately, I've been busy ... and when I haven't been busy I've been apathetic.

So, a few changes are happening in my life right now! Some of the major ones are exciting to me, and possibly disappointing to some (if not many/most) of my friends and family, while other major ones are terrifying to me. I'll talk about them in the order of exciting-terrifying.

EXCITING!

• I am moving out of my mother's house within the next couple of months (hopefully I'll be moved out within 6 weeks). Currently everything rests on me getting health and dental insurance. I'm applying for it shortly, and will move once I have confirmation that I have received the insurance.
• I am moving in with my boyfriend, Tene. This is where people will probably be disappointed in me (heaven knows my parents are). I understand concerns, but I'm happy with my decision, and I haven't made this decision lightly.

IN THE MIDDLE!

• Once I have insurance set up and everything, I'm likely going to start looking for a new psychiatrist. Although I feel that I have conclusively proved that I do not have bipolar (I've been off of medication for it for months with no adverse effects in the manic range), I feel that I should look back in to being placed on medication for depression. It sucks, I hates it, but hopefully I can learn to manage this somehow - be it with, or without, medication.

TERRIFYING!

• Before I moved out I wanted to have a clean bill of health (or have a moderate idea of anything that could potentially be a problem). As a result I went to my regular doctor and dentist, and in both cases was sent to specialists.
• First was the plastic-surgeon who deals specifically with the eye region. I was sent to him by my regular doctor after these little bumps formed by my eye, and didn't go away. The eye-bumps hurt a little, especially if I mess with them (imagine that!), and while they aren't obscuring my vision or anything, are a little annoying. The eye-doctor looked at them, measured them, and prodded them only to come to the conclusion "I don't know what these are! But they don't seem to be dangerous!" He sent me home without doing much, and told me to go back in 6 months (or so) if they don't go away or get worse.
• Second was the dentist who deals specifically with the gums. I was sent to him by my regular dentist (who is a pediatric dentist. I like that I watch Rattatouie when I see my dentist ... ) after he noticed some recession of my gum line. The gum-dentist looked at my gums, listed out some numbers that I don't understand, and then told me that he had to do surgery. This will be done in the next few weeks and I'm scared for it.

Well ... that's the sum of my life at this point. I hope everything goes well, and I'll try to keep ya'll updated!

2009 Resolutions

Well, I usually don't do New Year Resolutions, because I never follow through with them ... or I lose them, and can't see how I did. I think that this will be the best place to write them down.

So, here it goes!

• I want to be posting in each of my blogs at least once a week*
• I want to do at least one new thing each week*
• I want to be posting on Kyoot! and Storyline at least once per week**
• I want to have new site layouts set up for both Kyoot! and Storyline
• By the end of the year I want to be cooking regularly and be comfortable with cooking often

That's all for now. There are more, so I'll likely be adding to this in the near future.

*I'm still deciding whether this is going to be a Gregorian Week, or a Discordian Week
**Definitely going to be a Gregorian Week