I've realized that I need to practice being the sort of person I want to be. Less "Fake it 'til you make it" and more just taking time out to consciously act the way that I eventually want to be all the time. I've been trying, every day, to take ten or so minutes every day to actively practice being the person I want to be. I think it's helped me.
Which is what the symbol over on the side (which I generally call a "Crowned Pawn" or a "Queened Pawn") represents. I've never been much of a chess player - in fact I think I barely learned most of the rules a couple months ago. I'm not really much at strategy games in general, honestly. But I know that the pawn pieces can only move forward, and when a pawn gets to the other end without being taken out by another piece it can become any other piece. A pawn, the simplest piece on the board, can become a queen, the most powerful piece in the game.
I've kind of taken this as a philosophy for my own life. I don't really have other pieces opposing me that can take me out - I know I can surpass most, if not all, the challenges life throws at me. All I, as a pawn, need to concentrate on is moving forward, one square at a time. And eventually I will be the person I want to be - a Queen.
I've been considering getting the Queened Pawn tattooed on the inside of my wrist as a reminder of all of this. I don't know if I will or not - to be honest I cringe and flinch away when I even hear a tattoo gun on TV or in movies or whatever. So, I don't know how I would be able to sit still through an hour (or more) of the pain and that buzzing sound.
In other news: I have to go to a physical therapist for my ankle, knee, and shoulder. I went to the doctor and the problem seems to be a musculature one somehow. Hopefully a PT will be able to help.
