Well, it's official. Tene got the job at IMVU. Starting on April 12 he's going to be one of a handful of sysadmins working on babysitting the many servers that run the IMVU clients. So, before then we need to get our behinds to the San Francisco/Palo Alto area, find an apartment, and move in. We also have to find someone to take over this apartment (Sky Harbor, the apartment complex we live in, does reassignments - which is good for us) and sell or give away a decent amount of stuff, and a few other things of that nature. It's quickly becoming decently stressful (for Tene. I'm staying relatively calm, oddly enough. My jobs are easy - packing and getting the apartment Craigslisted. Tene is the one dealing with finances).
I'm really excited to be moving. Well, I'm a whole bunch of emotions: excited, scared, worried, sad, happy ... It's a big change, and will be one heck of an adventure. All the same, I'm going to miss my friends and my family. I'll definitely be keeping in touch; through this blog, Facebook, texting (which I don't do often), chat and IM clients ... even snailmail if I have to. Overall I feel that this move, this huge change, will be good for Tene and me, though, so we're going to do it.
We may be leaving as early as Sunday or Monday(!) to go start looking at apartments. We're still looking into our options for moving all our stuff - and there are so many options! I mean, seriously! It's hard going through them all, just because there are so many.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Monday, March 22, 2010
Four New Members
Tene and I welcomed four new members to our family on Saturday: Anise, Ai, Absinthe, and Moe.
Having had a few days to play with them, I've found them to be all adorable and sweet. Moe is the most courageous and curious - she enjoys being out of her cage and interacting with Tene and I, and we enjoy playing with her. Anise, Ai, and Absinthe are sisters, and are all very shy. I'm going to have to spend a decent amount of time trust training them, but I suspect that they'll come to enjoy spending time with Tene and me.
I'm very happy that I have rats again; I've really missed having affectionate little pets. Just knowing that they're around helps me, mentally and emotionally, deal with a lot of things. That might sound weird, but it's how I feel.
Tene and I are thinking about getting other pets too: we're considering a cat, or possibly a parrot (or some other intelligent bird). For now, though, we have our rattie girls, and we're happy.
In other news, Tene interviewed again with the New Company on Friday, this time in person (I really missed him while he was gone for two days). Hopefully today we'll find out how the interview went.
Well, that's everything going on right now.
I'm very happy that I have rats again; I've really missed having affectionate little pets. Just knowing that they're around helps me, mentally and emotionally, deal with a lot of things. That might sound weird, but it's how I feel.
Tene and I are thinking about getting other pets too: we're considering a cat, or possibly a parrot (or some other intelligent bird). For now, though, we have our rattie girls, and we're happy.
In other news, Tene interviewed again with the New Company on Friday, this time in person (I really missed him while he was gone for two days). Hopefully today we'll find out how the interview went.
Well, that's everything going on right now.
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Moving Seems Imminent
On Thursday Tene is getting on a plane and flying to San Francisco. On Friday he's going to have a day-long in-person interview with New Company - to see if he meshes with the team he would be working with there. We're both feeling really good about this, and I would be surprised if he didn't get the job. I'm getting more and more excited - I'm ready to actually move, since so far we've just been waiting to move.
I've learned that I really hate waiting.
Once we find out if he'll get the job or not, I think we'll take some vacation days and go look at apartments in Palo Alto. There are 6 or 7 that I'm interested in looking at, but there might be others we notice while we're there that we like as well. So, time will tell. I hope we find somewhere nice that isn't too vastly expensive.
In other news this weekend (Saturday) I get to pick up my three new family members: Anise, Absinthe, and Amaranth. I was hoping to be getting 4 little rattie girls, but due to a misunderstanding between myself and the breeder I missed out on Moe. So instead I've asked to be put on the waiting list at CandiRats Rattery in San Francisco. I'm also considering a couple of other waiting lists, but I haven't decided for certain yet.
In light of my ratties coming home shortly, I've started finishing the cage that I started ages ago. Since I didn't do so well with the plexiglass earlier, I've decided to have the tray pieces custom cut professionally by the local Delvie's Plastics. After a week of back-and-forth email-tag with their sales department, I got the estimate: $65 which includes shipping. I've let them know that I don't need shipping (I chose a local place for a reason, after all), so I'll probably only have to worry about paying 50$.
Other things I hope to do with the cage are get a lot of toys for them, and make their cage as comfortable as possible for them. I want them to be challenged and enjoy their lives with me. So, tomorrow Tene said that he would take me to go get that stuff. Another thing I'm working on is getting permission from the Apartment People to allow the girls to live in my apartment with me as therapeutic pets. I believe my psychiatrist will back me up on this, so this shouldn't be too much of a problem - more time consuming than anything.
My birthday is coming up soon, and (aside from an XBox 360, a PS3, a Wii, and maybe a new computer) all I really care to have is a sewing machine. I've become interested in sewing, lately, and I'm hoping to learn how to sew my own clothes (and other assorted things). So I'm planning on just getting the money from my dad and stepmom. Tomorrow I'm going sewing machine scouting to try to figure out if there's something nice I would like to buy (something cheap, that will work well for basic clothing making, and that'll be a little portable/sturdy).
Other things I'm thinking of in the near and far future:
Well, that's it for now!
I've learned that I really hate waiting.
Once we find out if he'll get the job or not, I think we'll take some vacation days and go look at apartments in Palo Alto. There are 6 or 7 that I'm interested in looking at, but there might be others we notice while we're there that we like as well. So, time will tell. I hope we find somewhere nice that isn't too vastly expensive.
In other news this weekend (Saturday) I get to pick up my three new family members: Anise, Absinthe, and Amaranth. I was hoping to be getting 4 little rattie girls, but due to a misunderstanding between myself and the breeder I missed out on Moe. So instead I've asked to be put on the waiting list at CandiRats Rattery in San Francisco. I'm also considering a couple of other waiting lists, but I haven't decided for certain yet.
In light of my ratties coming home shortly, I've started finishing the cage that I started ages ago. Since I didn't do so well with the plexiglass earlier, I've decided to have the tray pieces custom cut professionally by the local Delvie's Plastics. After a week of back-and-forth email-tag with their sales department, I got the estimate: $65 which includes shipping. I've let them know that I don't need shipping (I chose a local place for a reason, after all), so I'll probably only have to worry about paying 50$.
Other things I hope to do with the cage are get a lot of toys for them, and make their cage as comfortable as possible for them. I want them to be challenged and enjoy their lives with me. So, tomorrow Tene said that he would take me to go get that stuff. Another thing I'm working on is getting permission from the Apartment People to allow the girls to live in my apartment with me as therapeutic pets. I believe my psychiatrist will back me up on this, so this shouldn't be too much of a problem - more time consuming than anything.
My birthday is coming up soon, and (aside from an XBox 360, a PS3, a Wii, and maybe a new computer) all I really care to have is a sewing machine. I've become interested in sewing, lately, and I'm hoping to learn how to sew my own clothes (and other assorted things). So I'm planning on just getting the money from my dad and stepmom. Tomorrow I'm going sewing machine scouting to try to figure out if there's something nice I would like to buy (something cheap, that will work well for basic clothing making, and that'll be a little portable/sturdy).
Other things I'm thinking of in the near and far future:
- I hope to start to nearly completely change my wardrobe. My ideal wardrobe will consist mainly of sundresses, but will also have skirts and tops. Also, tons of socks from Sock Dreams.
- I hope to get my hair cut shorter, and possibly do something "emo" to it. Coloring would be nice - I'm thinking either red, pink, or maybe blue (or a mixture of both), and possibly some blonde hair. I'm hoping to keep my hair in a manageable state of straightness more often than not. The sort of styles I'm thinking of are like these:
- I reallyreallyreally hope to get Kyoot! updating again. I've been drawing a bit more, and my style is starting to improve again - but it's definitely not where I want it - and I'm working on 3 or 4 comic pages simultaneously. I suspect I'll post the first new one soon after Tene and I move.
- I want to start becoming the person I see myself being in a few years. Basically a housewife - I want to make our apartment a home for Tene and I. I want us to be happy and comfortable. I want dinner on the table every night when Tene gets home from work. I want to start exercising every day. I want to cook most of our meals. Basically, I want to be the best person I can be. I want to make Tene, and myself, happy.
Obviously I like colors, and I would really like to do something different with my hair. It's rather boring as it is right now.
Well, that's it for now!
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Anxiety, Part 2
Part One: Earthquakes
After I got over my earthquake fear (which, I didn't mention before, led me to asking my seventh grade History teacher to let me leave the class and go to the library to study, or something like that, if we were going to continue discussing earthquakes in general - and the Big One in particular) I didn't really have any new "thing" to be anxious over (that I can remember). Perhaps the social anxiety of having few friends in middle school (my original clique had kicked me out sometime halfway through seventh grade) and being a veritable loner was enough to keep my stress levels busy.
Then I got into High School. My Sophomore Year I started Drivers Ed, which I was not looking forward to. Oh heaven's, was Driver's Ed not my favorite class.
When I was little - four or five - I was almost hit by a car in a parking lot. This memory has stuck with me through the years, simply because it was so frightening. Naturally, this was the first - and only - thing in my head when I got behind the wheel of a car for the first time.
I'm going to kill someone with this thing.
I could think of nothing else. My first time driving on real roads I got yelled at a lot by my instructor.
I'm still amazed I passed my driver's test, nervous as I was.
Another academic anxiety I had was related to maths and science, which Tene can likely attest to. I had a hard time understanding what I realized were basic concepts in the maths and sciences, and I was so anxious to prove to myself - and in a somewhat larger degree, to my parents - that I wasn't stupid, that I would often start crying while doing my maths homework. I don't recall if I had similar emotional reactions to my science homework, but if it involved mathematics I wouldn't be surprised. My stepfather and mother would make fun of me for this constant emotional outburst - which didn't help my self esteem or my anxiety about the issue much.
I would also have trouble sleeping before a test in nearly every subject.
After I got over my earthquake fear (which, I didn't mention before, led me to asking my seventh grade History teacher to let me leave the class and go to the library to study, or something like that, if we were going to continue discussing earthquakes in general - and the Big One in particular) I didn't really have any new "thing" to be anxious over (that I can remember). Perhaps the social anxiety of having few friends in middle school (my original clique had kicked me out sometime halfway through seventh grade) and being a veritable loner was enough to keep my stress levels busy.
Then I got into High School. My Sophomore Year I started Drivers Ed, which I was not looking forward to. Oh heaven's, was Driver's Ed not my favorite class.
When I was little - four or five - I was almost hit by a car in a parking lot. This memory has stuck with me through the years, simply because it was so frightening. Naturally, this was the first - and only - thing in my head when I got behind the wheel of a car for the first time.
I'm going to kill someone with this thing.
I could think of nothing else. My first time driving on real roads I got yelled at a lot by my instructor.
I'm still amazed I passed my driver's test, nervous as I was.
Another academic anxiety I had was related to maths and science, which Tene can likely attest to. I had a hard time understanding what I realized were basic concepts in the maths and sciences, and I was so anxious to prove to myself - and in a somewhat larger degree, to my parents - that I wasn't stupid, that I would often start crying while doing my maths homework. I don't recall if I had similar emotional reactions to my science homework, but if it involved mathematics I wouldn't be surprised. My stepfather and mother would make fun of me for this constant emotional outburst - which didn't help my self esteem or my anxiety about the issue much.
I would also have trouble sleeping before a test in nearly every subject.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Anxiety, Part 1
Nothing much is happening in my life currently. Tene has had 3 interviews with the New Company, and we'll find out next week if they want to fly him out to California to interview him in-person. It looks hopeful.
I've been looking at apartments, but have yet to act on any of them. I hope to begin my emailing campaign sometime today. Otherwise I've been working on cleaning up the apartment to try to get it available for someone else to move in to. Speaking of which: Does anyone want to move into our apartment for 2 months?
I've also switched medication again. I'm now on Cymbalta, which is not an SSRI, but something else (I'm unsure exactly what it is, but I know it helps with the reuptake of dopamine rather than serotonin, so maybe it will help me?). I've been taking it for two days, and it reaches saturation around day 3 or 4. Celexa takes about a week to fully leave the system. So, I guess I'll find out the effects of Cymbalta in ... five days? Here's hoping it works.
Otherwise, my life is quite boring.
I wanted to talk about my anxiety - it's been a little worse lately, and I've wanted to write about what I go through, in the hopes that my friends and family who read this may understand a bit better what I go through when my anxiety gets bad.
I'm going to be writing this in parts, otherwise it will end up being one single huge post.
First off: I've always had problems with anxiety. Looking back, it was obvious that I had problems. At the time, I figured the fears/worries/etc that I had were normal, and if not normal - at least they weren't too far from the norm. Now I know that my reactions to a lot of things was very very very odd. I sometimes wonder why my Mother never did anything about my anxiety - I don't believe my Dad knew about what I was going through.
The earliest memory I have of disabling anxiety started when I was in or just about to start sixth grade - shortly after August 11, 1999, the day a tornado hit downtown Salt Lake City. My entire life up to that point I had been told and reassured and reminded that: "A tornado couldn't happen here, the mountains and tall buildings would prevent it" and that Utah didn't have many tornados anyway, and they occurred in the desert, salt flats, and more open areas. After the tornado I began having trouble sleeping at night. I became worried that some horrible disaster would occur while I slept (tornado, earthquake, fire, etc) and I would lose my family. I became hyper-aware of any Bad Thing that could possibly ever happen.
Soon my anxiety shifted to solely concern earthquakes.
The Salt Lake Valley sits right next to a fault line (I can't even read that article without anxiety, obviously this is still a problem), which has tendrils that go underneath most of the valley. I believe my Junior High School was (is) situated on one of these faults. There hasn't been a large quake in a good long while. I believe that we're supposed to have a large quake every ... I think 5000 years, but I could be wrong. Anyway, we're supposedly overdue for The Big One any year now.
This was driven into my head all through Grade School, and some more in Middle School. It never scared me, until the tornado. Suddenly the abstract idea of an earthquake happening became real. And everything I was being taught in class became terrifying.
I had a hard time getting to sleep. Any movement - even slight - of my bed was enough to make my heartrate raise and get my adrenaline going. I became more and more tired as I got less and less sleep. I didn't talk to anyone about this. Even the counselor I saw later that year.
The nightly fear and anxiety continued until February 2001, when a decently large earthquake hit Seattle, Washington, and only one person was killed in it. However, I still have nights where I have trouble falling asleep due to anxiety or fear about Something Bad Happening.
Almost a year and a half of having trouble sleeping, and the only help I ever got for it was a poem my stepdad would tell me - almost every night.
But I couldn't just forget my worries, or ignore them, no matter how much I tried.
What should have been a serious warning sign that something wasn't quite right with my brain was ignored, brushed aside with poems and blessings. Looking back, I honestly feel like I was being ignored, and that I wasn't being taken seriously.
Part Two: Cars and Tests
I've been looking at apartments, but have yet to act on any of them. I hope to begin my emailing campaign sometime today. Otherwise I've been working on cleaning up the apartment to try to get it available for someone else to move in to. Speaking of which: Does anyone want to move into our apartment for 2 months?
I've also switched medication again. I'm now on Cymbalta, which is not an SSRI, but something else (I'm unsure exactly what it is, but I know it helps with the reuptake of dopamine rather than serotonin, so maybe it will help me?). I've been taking it for two days, and it reaches saturation around day 3 or 4. Celexa takes about a week to fully leave the system. So, I guess I'll find out the effects of Cymbalta in ... five days? Here's hoping it works.
Otherwise, my life is quite boring.
I wanted to talk about my anxiety - it's been a little worse lately, and I've wanted to write about what I go through, in the hopes that my friends and family who read this may understand a bit better what I go through when my anxiety gets bad.
I'm going to be writing this in parts, otherwise it will end up being one single huge post.
First off: I've always had problems with anxiety. Looking back, it was obvious that I had problems. At the time, I figured the fears/worries/etc that I had were normal, and if not normal - at least they weren't too far from the norm. Now I know that my reactions to a lot of things was very very very odd. I sometimes wonder why my Mother never did anything about my anxiety - I don't believe my Dad knew about what I was going through.
The earliest memory I have of disabling anxiety started when I was in or just about to start sixth grade - shortly after August 11, 1999, the day a tornado hit downtown Salt Lake City. My entire life up to that point I had been told and reassured and reminded that: "A tornado couldn't happen here, the mountains and tall buildings would prevent it" and that Utah didn't have many tornados anyway, and they occurred in the desert, salt flats, and more open areas. After the tornado I began having trouble sleeping at night. I became worried that some horrible disaster would occur while I slept (tornado, earthquake, fire, etc) and I would lose my family. I became hyper-aware of any Bad Thing that could possibly ever happen.
Soon my anxiety shifted to solely concern earthquakes.
The Salt Lake Valley sits right next to a fault line (I can't even read that article without anxiety, obviously this is still a problem), which has tendrils that go underneath most of the valley. I believe my Junior High School was (is) situated on one of these faults. There hasn't been a large quake in a good long while. I believe that we're supposed to have a large quake every ... I think 5000 years, but I could be wrong. Anyway, we're supposedly overdue for The Big One any year now.
This was driven into my head all through Grade School, and some more in Middle School. It never scared me, until the tornado. Suddenly the abstract idea of an earthquake happening became real. And everything I was being taught in class became terrifying.
I had a hard time getting to sleep. Any movement - even slight - of my bed was enough to make my heartrate raise and get my adrenaline going. I became more and more tired as I got less and less sleep. I didn't talk to anyone about this. Even the counselor I saw later that year.
The nightly fear and anxiety continued until February 2001, when a decently large earthquake hit Seattle, Washington, and only one person was killed in it. However, I still have nights where I have trouble falling asleep due to anxiety or fear about Something Bad Happening.
Almost a year and a half of having trouble sleeping, and the only help I ever got for it was a poem my stepdad would tell me - almost every night.
If there's a worry under the sun
There is a remedy or there's none
If there be one, hurry and find it
If there be none, nevermind it
But I couldn't just forget my worries, or ignore them, no matter how much I tried.
What should have been a serious warning sign that something wasn't quite right with my brain was ignored, brushed aside with poems and blessings. Looking back, I honestly feel like I was being ignored, and that I wasn't being taken seriously.
Part Two: Cars and Tests
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)