Changes to Be Made

As I mentioned before, I'm now in California with Tene. It's been an exciting two weeks.

We now have an apartment, and on Saturday we finally got everything moved into said apartment. Now I'm just trying to go through boxes and unpack all of the things we own.

I've been having bad dreams lately - they seem to be caused by the combination of stress from the Major Lifestyle Change of moving from Utah to California and the anxiety of the same. I seem to be clenching my teeth as a result, though, which is less than ideal and makes me unhappy. I've been waking up with headaches.

On a different side of things, I've been a little disappointed in my own reaction to the move. I had apparently been thinking - more strongly than just idle daydreams - that simply moving out of Utah would be enough to bump me out of the rut I've been living in for the last .... five? six years? It wasn't. I'm still the same girl I was in Utah, I'm just not wearing winter-clothes anymore. I don't like who I am, and I don't know how to change who that person is into someone I would like.

I have a severe case of akrasia - failure of will - when it comes to motivation. It's hard for me to get the energy to do anything that might be mildly unpleasant (pretty much anything I don't want to do ... and even some things I do want to do). So instead of actually doing anything I just watch stuff on hulu.com and youtube. I just don't care. I feel fine watching things, and when I do feel guilty ... it's not a very strong feeling.

I'm considering doing a complete overhaul of myself, of my personality. First I'm thinking of doing something similar to what Alicorn talked about over at Less Wrong - basically actively rewriting my emotional states, rather than just passively feeling and acting as though my emotional states are something that are out of  my control that I cannot control. Hopefully this will help with my depression as well as with my motivation. I'm also looking into some mindhacks to help me with my motivational issues (the link is another post at Less Wrong, this one about Pain Motivation vs Gain Motivation - I am very much "pain motivated"). I know the person I want to be, and I have some ideas of how to become that person ... I just need to actually enact them.

Another thing I'm considering is possibly taking on a new name - or doing something that is tangible or obvious to say, to show that I'm a different person than I was. That I'm going to become a different person.

I'm not certain if that makes sense, but it's just something I'm thinking about now.

Christmas is Coming

Now that it's December I'm kicking into Christmas overdrive. Most of the presents I'm giving I've already decided on, and the majority of them are going to be handmade.

I have no idea what I'm going to give my family members, however. This year I have another sibling to give to - Tene's little sister. Tene's family does what  my family does - every year we draw names for who to give to. It makes Christmas a little cheaper, especially since by the time my family started doing this I was giving 10 siblings presents - not an easy task. But since Tene's family draws names (and my own family draws names) I'm only having to worry about two extras to my list - Tene's little sister E, and his brother-in-law R2. And both of my families are still trying to decide if we're exchanging gifts or not (I have money set aside for both of them, just in case).

So, people recieving gifts from me this year:
First, Family:

• My mother and stepdad: No idea what I'm giving them yet.
• My dad and stepmom: No idea what I'm giving them either.
• Tene's parents: No idea over here either
• My brother, Buck: Not sure what I'm giving him, probably a gift certificate or something
• E: I was thinking of buying her a couple of Threadless Tees, because I think she would like them, but I'm not sure which ones to even consider. Also: I don't know her size. Maybe I'll stick with jewelry or something else? I don't know
• R2: I'm leaving this mostly up to Tene, but I have no idea what we'll send to him
• Nephew S: The oldest of my littlest nephews, S is going to get a handmade dinosaur
• Little Brother: The little brother of Nephew S, I'm going to be giving him a handmade dinosaur too
• Nephew J: Born around the same time as Little Brother (but from different parents .... ), Nephew J will also also be getting a handmade dinosaur
• Tene: He's getting 2 or 3 presents from me, and has only figured out one of them!

Friends:

• All local friends (Ima and Teffy, Sherry, Jaaku, Genjou, Sarah) will be getting cupcakes. Because cupcakes are delicious
• Kayleigh: A visit! And probably cupcakes
  
• Zoie: Will be getting something .... I just don't know what yet (I was going to make a handmade hedgie, but the pattern I had for it was insane ... I may send some delicious cookie mix or something)
  
• Robin: A handmade plush, I'm not saying what kind though
  

 So, an early Happy Holidays to my friends!

First Week

So, I meant to update every day about how my story is going ... in part to keep me writing. But
then I got sick over the week, and Tene got very very sick, and my writing tapered off at 5200 words. I haven't written in days. As of today I'm supposed to be just over 13,000 words. I'm going to try to reach that number, but I don't know if I'll be able to do it. I'm rather stuck on my story, I don't know where to go with it.

For research I've thought of picking up a copy of the DSM-IV, after all my story takes place in an asylum, and I would like to have the patients have realistic diagnoses. But, I don't want to waste hours on research when I have limited writing time. Maybe I'll pick up a copy for the rewrite.

Oh, but look! In the left sidebar there is now a widget to show how many words I've written! Hooray!

Anyway, I should get back to writing.

I Make Plans

Tene and I were married nearly six months ago (crazy, isn't it?), and we didn't have a large ceremony. I, however, want a bit of a larger ceremony - what I'm going to call a commitment ceremony. We were making plans to have such a ceremony in October, but stress and some points of life got in the way of it. We've finally set on a date for the ceremony, and that date is the anniversary of our wedding: June 12, 2010.

I am the main one making plans for the ceremony, and so far this is as much as I have decided (well, I've decided on colors - white, blue, and orange [blue is Stephen's favorite color, orange is mine, and they are complementary colors]). I plan, however, to update Rats In Pants with any plans I have for this ceremony.

In other news, I now know when I'm going to be finishing up my Associates Degree (Associates of Science)! I should be graduating in two semesters, so the end of summer semester. I'm excited!

Projects Brewing in the Brainpan

I'm still alive! And I'm still mostly not writing.

On the upside, I'm now on medications for depression again. For more information, check out Rats in Pants, where I explain everything that's been going on in my life lately.

I do have some projects that I'm planning on starting up soon, though, despite not having creativity going very well.

First, two blog-style writing projects named, at the moment, Truth and Three's a Crowd.

• Truth is a modern-fantasy, taking place in an AU Earth where magic works and was embraced up until science became a focal point of everything. Magic still works, it's just so fiddly that most people don't use it. Mythical creatures and monsters also exist, and the humanoid ones are a part of human (yes, human) society, where they are mostly hiding in plain sight (under glamours). Enter Truth, the main character, who is just starting college. Truth is named so because she can "See the truth of things" - in other words, she can usually tell when someone is lying to her, but even more important - she can see through glamours. I'm hoping to get in to some equality type stuff, as well as (maybe) religious, emotional, and just interesting.
• Three's A Crowd is a little different. It takes place in our world, in our time, and is about a woman coming to terms with her husband's polyamory (for more information, look here and here. Disclaimer: I haven't actually looked deep into the two latter websites, I cannot account for their content). I'm writing this partially from experience, and partially from things I've read or heard about since learning about polyamory. It will follow the two main character's relationship as it grows and changes with time.
  

Second, I have my own domain now! So I'm going to be working on building my own website, and probably integrating all my blogs into that. Once everything is finalized (there's a domain name that I want, which I got, but it was .net rather than .com. The .com version is set to expire any time in the next three days - so I'm going to try to get it for my own :D If I don't, I can simply use my .net, which will be fine. More on that once I figure out what's going to be happening with it.

Finally, I'm hoping to get all of my webcomics up and running!

• I'm going to be redesigning Kyoot!'s website, and I hope to update it at least once a week, if not more - and I have a "special" that I'm going to be running over the course of two months based on something that Eliezer Yudkowsky of Overcoming Bias and Less Wrong wrote a while ago. I'm hoping to do it justice.
• I also hope to be updating Storyline once a week, getting it's webpage finished.
• Finally, I hope to start up another RPG-Based webcomic under the name Legends Never Die, but first I need to figure out if I care enough to or not. If I do, it will also be updating at least once a week (or I may alternate between Storyline and Legends), and will have it's own site over at ComicGenesis (for now, at least), or possibly at Drunk Duck. Or, if I get ambitious, I'll host it myself on my new server :D We'll have to wait and see.
  

And, aside from a few artistic projects, a long-term writing project (working title: Trinity of the Gods), and becoming a more active member of The Writing Circle, that's about all I have!

Update on Surgery

Well, I went and saw the periodontist again a couple of days ago. My two times daily regime of brushing my gums is doing what it was supposed to, and they think that they'll be able to do the surgery in two weeks. So it is scheduled! I will be temporarily losing my ability to eat solids on February 12, the day before my little sister's wedding. Oh, how lovely I will look in the wedding photos.

On the up side, I do get to have the IV sedation, so I don't have to be conscious for the cutting and the pulling and the grafting. Hooray! Despite this way being slightly more dangerous this way will keep me from panicking halfway through the surgery. Which can only be a good thing. On the down side, I will be unable to bite down on anything with my front teeth for anywhere from a few days to a couple of weeks.

Some other things: The surgery will "only" take an hour, and is pretty minor. Also the mouth heals quickly, so I'm looking at worst case scenario with the "couple of weeks" thing (on the other hand, I couldn't eat solid foods comfortably for four days after getting my wisdom teeth removed, so perhaps my mouth doesn't heal as fast as others?).

Here's hoping it goes well.

In other news: I'm starting to work on Kyoot! again, for all those who like my comic. Also, If you look over at my Sister Sites on the side you'll see that I've started yet another blog, although this one doesn't have anything on it yet. Check it out sometime (well, hopefully not soon, but eventually it will have some content): Stitched Sheep. Eventually it will have my adventures in craft-making and cooking.

Some Changes

So, I'm going to be making some changes to RiP soon. One problem I'm having with this blog is that it doesn't really have a dedicated purpose. I thought I had a purpose for it, but I don't like the idea of using Rats in Pants for rants and such. Unfortunately, the name "Rants in Pants" (and the url rantypants) was taken, so I'm going to be trying to think of a new name for my ranty blog.

What Rats in Pants is going to be for is documenting my life - specifically my life involving my rats (although I will mention other things, like school, meds, and the like). I know that's what I use it for now - so there won't be any changes as far as the rest of you are concerned.

A content change that I am going to include is information on rats in general - health care and the like - as I learn it and incorporate it. I may also add some information on other small pets, but don't bet on it.

Some of the other changes I'm going to be doing is changing the color scheme and such, as well as the image at the top of the page (hopefully to a photo of my new girls once I get them :) ). I'll be removing the BlogLog, but will be keeping the friends and family blogs, as well as the sister sites (my new blog will probably not be listed in the sister sites section).

In other news, the new cage is almost complete! For those who don't know, a few weeks ago I bought a cage from Martin's Cages. The cage is HUGE! :) It's 30"x18"x36", and has a decent drop pan (3" high sides - which means my floor will stay clean :) ), a full middle section, and two balconies, with ramps attaching all of them. I had a cage of almost this size (24"x14"x26") before, also from Martin's, but learned the hard way that plain Galvanized steel is very very bad for leveled cages. That cage rusted within a few months. As a result, I spent a few extra dollars to get this cage powder coated, which is supposed to completely eliminate the smell problem.

The cage comes separated, which I don't mind. Less shipping costs for me, and the cage is pretty easy to assemble - especially since Martin's sends you everything you could ever need to put it together. Like, four times over. Now, there was just one thing I wanted to do that I had not done on the original cage.

The flooring of the cage is wire, which is okay, but could be potentially dangerous to the rats small, fragile feet. There are plenty stories online of ratty feet getting trapped in the wire - and of sprained and broken bones. This is especially dangerous for smaller, younger rats (like what I'm getting ... ).

So, I decided, in my infinite wisdom, that I should make a tray for the full middle level. First, to give my rats something to rest on without having to go all the way down to the floor level. Second, to make the cage safer for the rats. And third - to make it less messy. Well, the tray is being made out of plexiglass and solvent glue. I was planning on having a full bottom layer, and four sides. This ended up not working. So, what I have now, in pieces, are 3 pieces that make up the bottom of the tray, and the 4 sides. It isn't pretty, but it will do what it's supposed to.

In the course of this project I did learn a few things.
- You can buy large sheets of plexiglass from Lowes. They will not custom cut things for you, however.
- Solvent glue is easy to find ... the hard part is finding a local seller, and then finding their building (I was lost for half an hour trying to locate the dang place)
- You cannot cut smaller squares out of plexiglass. There is no way to make a cut that only goes 5" in, and have it not break the entire piece of material.
- "Scoring" means using a knife to cut the plexiglass, not two or three times, or even four or five, but, like, ten. Anything less and it doesn't snap. Also, they need to be on both sides of the plexiglass. It helps it break straighter.
- Don't expect a straight edge. (I can only hope I can fix the problem this caused)

I hope to finish the cage by this weekend, and have contacted "Skye" (a local rat breeder).